I had the best lunch today after church. Savory roast over rice with green beans and cornbread muffins. I even had enough leftover for lunch one day this week. The best part? It didn't cost me anything. I had everything on hand already.
I have a tendency to stock up on canned goods when I see a good sale. I know that I will use the vegetables eventually so I buy several cans. I do the same with muffin mix, meat, soup, pasta, you name it... I do not like to pass up good sales. However, then I don't use them. I am tired when I get off work so I run through a drive through. Friends ask me to go to dinner and I happily accept. I noticed I had a freezer full of food the other day when I was trying to wedge the ice cream I had bought on sale in the other week and I decided that I was not going to buy another thing until I had used what I already had. I am going to do No Spend November!
Lets don't get crazy with this idea. I must pay my bills, buy gas to go to work, and pay tithes. Other than that though, I am trying to not spend money. It is really hard... I am using the things in my freezer and cabinets that have sat there staring out at me for weeks. Salmon is good for me afterall.. Frozen pizza not so much but hey.. it has already been purchased... I am cooking more and home cooked meals just taste better somehow. I am saving money too which is awesome since I plan to head to Japan for Christmas.
I have realized that I am really spoiled. Like so many things in life, God blesses us with what we need and yet, we set it aside to take what we view as the easier route. We have left so many great and wonderful things to sit and wait while we spend our time, talents, and yes... money on inferior things. What do you have right now that you are not using? Why aren't you using it? If it is because it is easier not to, stop. Take advantage of what you already have. You don't need anything else.
Join me in No Spend November!! See how God blesses us when we use what He has already provided.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Sometimes You Just Have to Spit the Cookie Out...
I observe Lent every year. I'm not Catholic and I know that my salvation rests in God's grace alone, but Lent gives me the opportunity to focus on the sacrifice that made my salvation possible. I spend time praying and thinking and praying some more about what I should give up or take up. I've given up bread which was difficult. I've given up reading for pleasure which I thought might be the one I could not complete. I've taken up blogging and walking. The daily focus required by Lent allows me to grow as a Christian every year but this year's answer to what to give up still made me hesitate, it made me want to beg for another option, it made me realize God had a message to share with me. I gave up chocolate for Lent.
I love chocolate. This is not an overstatement. The aroma of it makes me smile automatically. The smooth texture of it is luxurious. The taste of it in its many incarnations is delightful.. I could do a riff on the many forms of chocolate that would make Bubba jealous that he only got to speak about shrimp but I will restrain myself to simply say... I LOVE CHOCOLATE.... How will I survive 40 days without my staple? The answer to that is easy, I told myself. Every time I want chocolate, I will focus on the greater picture of Jesus' sacrifice. However, God is a master teacher. He told me to give up chocolate understanding it would be hard, but also knowing I would be surrounded by it. He didn't want me to simply focus on the sacrifice; He planned on using Lent for a 40 day object lesson.
Every single one of us is a sinner. We were born sinners; we will die sinners. The only hope for us is God's grace. We ask God to forgive us and beg to be covered by the blood of the Lamb. He does this willingly because He loves us. However, then we go about our daily lives doing whatever. We say we cannot help it and God will forgive us anyway. Sin is a choice though. Every time we sin, every single time, we side with the devil. We choose to sin. What does this have to do with chocolate? Simple, in my 40 day object lesson, the Master teacher is illustrating this choice.
When we accept Christ as our savior, we know that there are certain big things that we are walking away from. Because everyone feels convicted about different things, I will stick with the 10 commandments, tithing, growing as a believer, and witnessing. I think these are the basics. In my Lent lesson, these are represented by the obvious things. No Hershey's kisses, no Valentine's Day candy, no chocolate cake, no Oreos, etc. I am giving up chocolate for 40 days so obviously I understand that I cannot go grab a handful of M&Ms. This is basic commitment. However, sin is everywhere and it is unbelievably easy to slip up.
I had to work registration this past week. The faculty met with each student and a paretn to discuss class choices for the next school year. Because we would be working through dinner, the administration provided sub sandwiches and cookies for us. A co-worker was eating cookies and I asked if I could have one. They were soft warm chocolate chip cookies. Was I thinking about Lent? Nope. I was sitting there laughing with co-workers, waiting on parents. In other words, I was going about my daily business. I took a bite and it was delicious. Almost instantaneously, another co-worker declined a cookie saying he had given up sweets for Lent. Jolted, I spit the bite of cookie out and sputtered "me too!" I had almost broken my promise because I wasn't paying attention. Lesson two... God knows we are going to mess up but we have to keep our focus on Him.
I was shaken that less than a week into Lent, I had almost failed. I take this sacrifice seriously. God is amazing. He revealed the lesson plan to me. I'm supposed to think about my response to sin throughout this process. It's not about chocolate at all. Chocolate is just the vehicle He is going to use to demonstate the lesson. This is why I was able to withstand gobbling up any of the miniature candy bars that were in bowls all the way down the conference table at the board meeting I attended yesterday. Four different flavors - all of which I enjoy - were right in front of me for the taking as were homemade chocolate chip cookies and chocolate doughnuts. I almost laughed at the excess of it. The sad reality is that there is a buffet of sin available for us to participate in every single day. We have to trust in the Lord to give us the strength to say no to it.
I cannot wait to see what chocolate lesson God uses to teach me tomorrow.... and I really cannot wait until Easter when I plan to eat M&Ms and Hersheys kisses and Dove chocolates and a solid chocolate Easter bunny and a huge slice of chocolate cake.... MMMMM.... Did I mention I love chocolate?
I love chocolate. This is not an overstatement. The aroma of it makes me smile automatically. The smooth texture of it is luxurious. The taste of it in its many incarnations is delightful.. I could do a riff on the many forms of chocolate that would make Bubba jealous that he only got to speak about shrimp but I will restrain myself to simply say... I LOVE CHOCOLATE.... How will I survive 40 days without my staple? The answer to that is easy, I told myself. Every time I want chocolate, I will focus on the greater picture of Jesus' sacrifice. However, God is a master teacher. He told me to give up chocolate understanding it would be hard, but also knowing I would be surrounded by it. He didn't want me to simply focus on the sacrifice; He planned on using Lent for a 40 day object lesson.
Every single one of us is a sinner. We were born sinners; we will die sinners. The only hope for us is God's grace. We ask God to forgive us and beg to be covered by the blood of the Lamb. He does this willingly because He loves us. However, then we go about our daily lives doing whatever. We say we cannot help it and God will forgive us anyway. Sin is a choice though. Every time we sin, every single time, we side with the devil. We choose to sin. What does this have to do with chocolate? Simple, in my 40 day object lesson, the Master teacher is illustrating this choice.
When we accept Christ as our savior, we know that there are certain big things that we are walking away from. Because everyone feels convicted about different things, I will stick with the 10 commandments, tithing, growing as a believer, and witnessing. I think these are the basics. In my Lent lesson, these are represented by the obvious things. No Hershey's kisses, no Valentine's Day candy, no chocolate cake, no Oreos, etc. I am giving up chocolate for 40 days so obviously I understand that I cannot go grab a handful of M&Ms. This is basic commitment. However, sin is everywhere and it is unbelievably easy to slip up.
I had to work registration this past week. The faculty met with each student and a paretn to discuss class choices for the next school year. Because we would be working through dinner, the administration provided sub sandwiches and cookies for us. A co-worker was eating cookies and I asked if I could have one. They were soft warm chocolate chip cookies. Was I thinking about Lent? Nope. I was sitting there laughing with co-workers, waiting on parents. In other words, I was going about my daily business. I took a bite and it was delicious. Almost instantaneously, another co-worker declined a cookie saying he had given up sweets for Lent. Jolted, I spit the bite of cookie out and sputtered "me too!" I had almost broken my promise because I wasn't paying attention. Lesson two... God knows we are going to mess up but we have to keep our focus on Him.
I was shaken that less than a week into Lent, I had almost failed. I take this sacrifice seriously. God is amazing. He revealed the lesson plan to me. I'm supposed to think about my response to sin throughout this process. It's not about chocolate at all. Chocolate is just the vehicle He is going to use to demonstate the lesson. This is why I was able to withstand gobbling up any of the miniature candy bars that were in bowls all the way down the conference table at the board meeting I attended yesterday. Four different flavors - all of which I enjoy - were right in front of me for the taking as were homemade chocolate chip cookies and chocolate doughnuts. I almost laughed at the excess of it. The sad reality is that there is a buffet of sin available for us to participate in every single day. We have to trust in the Lord to give us the strength to say no to it.
I cannot wait to see what chocolate lesson God uses to teach me tomorrow.... and I really cannot wait until Easter when I plan to eat M&Ms and Hersheys kisses and Dove chocolates and a solid chocolate Easter bunny and a huge slice of chocolate cake.... MMMMM.... Did I mention I love chocolate?
Sunday, August 12, 2012
It's Been the Point From the Start.
As a history teacher, I want students to realize that there is one theme that connects all of history - Conflicts create crises which lead to change. If students can understand that one principle, they can pretty much look at any history situation and analyze the cause-effect relationship between the events. It's THE point; the one thing students must get to truly understand history. I find it funny that I totally grasp that history has one central theme and yet, I missed the fact that the great teacher (our Heavenly Father) has only one main point too. Every sin must be covered by blood, perfect blood.
Please don't stop reading because I mentioned God. Stick with me. This may be the most important thing I have ever tried to write. I am so excited about it, I want to shout! God told us from the beginning that there had to be blood shed. From the very beginning. From Genesis, the very first book!
I always discounted the Old Testament. I always thought... "Well, yeah, it says that, but that's the Old Testament". Then, thankfully, Jesus came and saved us. The New testament is what I have to focus on. I based my faith in Christ alone because without Him, I am guilty of sin and the wages of sin are death. That part of my belief hasn't changed! Jesus Christ is still the one and only way that you can be saved. What has changed is my view of the Old Testament. God isn't simply telling us our history. He isn't simply saying here's how rough it used to be, here are your great forefathers (and mothers) of faith. He is telling us that sin must always be covered by blood. Every single sin. I am blown away by this right now.
You don't have to be a great Bible scholar to know the story of the beginning. God made the world. He spoke it into existence (and trust me, that was the Big Bang). The Garden of Eden was perfection. There was every need supplied and met. Adam walked with God in the evenings. He walked with Him. How incredibly cool is that! And then, ... Mankind screwed it up. Eve believed the serpeant, Adam followed suit. This is the first sin. Think about it. Life was perfect and the first time, someone asks why can't you have absolutely everything? We sin... (You can't see me, but I am shaking my head because wow.. that one just hit home too...) Back to the story of original sin... Adam & Eve sin. They hide from God. (yep.. we still do this.). Then, God asked them what they had done. They confessed. God punished them and future generations for their sin. Then, in Genesis 3:21. it says "Unto Adam also and to his wife did the Lord God make coats of skins, and clothed them." Did you catch it? I never had until this weekend. I knew God clothed them in skins. I guess I always thought that was about sturdier clothing. God providing better for us even when we thought we had it handled with flimsy fig leaves. But it's not! God shed blood to cover the sin. WOW!!!! Sin #1... Sacrifice #1 to cover the sin so we may be forgiven.
Cain and Abel... Exodus from Egypt...All the stories. Every single story points to the one and only point! Our sins require a sacrifice of perfect blood. God, our Heavenly Father, loved us enough to give His one and only son as that sacrifice for us and all we have to do to be covered is totally and honestly accept that TRUTH. It's the only point and He makes it over and over and over from the BEGINNING because it is that important!!!
God is an awesome teacher! He tells us over and over because some of us it takes a little while to grasp it all. I just ordered The Miracle of the Scarlet Thread from Amazon. I feel like this is where I am supposed to focus right now. I'd love it if some of you joined me!!
Please don't stop reading because I mentioned God. Stick with me. This may be the most important thing I have ever tried to write. I am so excited about it, I want to shout! God told us from the beginning that there had to be blood shed. From the very beginning. From Genesis, the very first book!
I always discounted the Old Testament. I always thought... "Well, yeah, it says that, but that's the Old Testament". Then, thankfully, Jesus came and saved us. The New testament is what I have to focus on. I based my faith in Christ alone because without Him, I am guilty of sin and the wages of sin are death. That part of my belief hasn't changed! Jesus Christ is still the one and only way that you can be saved. What has changed is my view of the Old Testament. God isn't simply telling us our history. He isn't simply saying here's how rough it used to be, here are your great forefathers (and mothers) of faith. He is telling us that sin must always be covered by blood. Every single sin. I am blown away by this right now.
You don't have to be a great Bible scholar to know the story of the beginning. God made the world. He spoke it into existence (and trust me, that was the Big Bang). The Garden of Eden was perfection. There was every need supplied and met. Adam walked with God in the evenings. He walked with Him. How incredibly cool is that! And then, ... Mankind screwed it up. Eve believed the serpeant, Adam followed suit. This is the first sin. Think about it. Life was perfect and the first time, someone asks why can't you have absolutely everything? We sin... (You can't see me, but I am shaking my head because wow.. that one just hit home too...) Back to the story of original sin... Adam & Eve sin. They hide from God. (yep.. we still do this.). Then, God asked them what they had done. They confessed. God punished them and future generations for their sin. Then, in Genesis 3:21. it says "Unto Adam also and to his wife did the Lord God make coats of skins, and clothed them." Did you catch it? I never had until this weekend. I knew God clothed them in skins. I guess I always thought that was about sturdier clothing. God providing better for us even when we thought we had it handled with flimsy fig leaves. But it's not! God shed blood to cover the sin. WOW!!!! Sin #1... Sacrifice #1 to cover the sin so we may be forgiven.
Cain and Abel... Exodus from Egypt...All the stories. Every single story points to the one and only point! Our sins require a sacrifice of perfect blood. God, our Heavenly Father, loved us enough to give His one and only son as that sacrifice for us and all we have to do to be covered is totally and honestly accept that TRUTH. It's the only point and He makes it over and over and over from the BEGINNING because it is that important!!!
God is an awesome teacher! He tells us over and over because some of us it takes a little while to grasp it all. I just ordered The Miracle of the Scarlet Thread from Amazon. I feel like this is where I am supposed to focus right now. I'd love it if some of you joined me!!
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Exhaling... I'm Tired of Holding My Breath.
The year I turned 30, I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish before I died. A bucket list. How incredibly unoriginal of me, I know, but I had never heard of the idea back then. I read an article where a man had listed the 100 things he absolutely had to do before he died and it had led to clarity about who he truly was and what really mattered in his life. I wanted that sense of clarity. I created a list but try as I might, I could only come up with 70 things. That's it. 70 adventures, small and large.
28 of them are places I want to visit. That's slightly less than half of my dreams.. to go to the places I've only read about. Another 7 center on Taylor - being there to watch him achieve his milestones. Graduate from high school and college, get married, have children. I realize that those are my dreams FOR him and not necessarily my dreams. At the time, Taylor had not yet started kindergarten and there was no line between his life and mine. Would he love school? Would he make friends? What sport would he play? My life for 13 years was driving to events, play dates, practices... helping with homework, reading bedtime stories, hiring tutors... buying a tuxedo for prom, buying a truck for his first vehicle... helping with college applications, touring colleges, meeting with recruiters, saying goodbye, enduring boot camp, combat training, and job school... I held my breath. I wanted every single dream of his to come true. Tell me how I can make his life a little better and I will. Tell me what I can do as mom. My focus was Taylor. I wouldn't change a single thing. He is the best accomplishment I ever hope to have in life. He is a fine and wonderful Marine. He has all his dreams in reach.
I can breathe now. Slowly and luxuriously... slowly with my arms spread wide to gather in all the possibilities. I can exhale all the worry and breathe in the possibilities as cliche as that sounds. It is time to make a bucket list, a real bucket list. Let's clarify what I want, really want to do with my life.
1. I want to go to Paris. I do. I know that is a common assertion among women, but I want to walk the streets and sit in the cafes. I want to gaze at the Mona Lisa and picnic under the Eiffel Tower. I want to journey to Versailles and eat cake. All the other trips on the list can be crossed off if I can go to Paris.
2. I want to snuggle with my grandchildren. This one is tricky because I know immediately upon hearing that I am going to be a grandmother, the cycle of trying to ensure that their dreams come true begins. However, I embrace that. I want to kiss their downy heads and breathe in their sweetness. I want to build pillow forts and read picture books to them. I want to play cars and go on adventures. I thoroughly enjoyed motherhood; I want to do it again... and be able to send them home when they get cranky like a proper grandma.
3. I want to have contributed something to the greater good. That's incredibly vague. However, I think it's human nature to want to be remembered. I want to touch lives, to make the world a better place, to ease a burden, to inspire a dream. I'm not sure we have lived if people are not sad when we have died. I want to live so when I am no longer here, people notice I am gone.
I am sitting her re-reading all the things on my original list and yes, I would love to do many of them. Others, I blame on the fight against turning 30. I mean, did I really want to bungee jump or hanglide? Really? In reality though, I've done a lot. If I can mark these three off the list, I'd say my life has been well-lived. Who knows what adventures I'll add next. :) I am breathing these days and it feels amazing.
28 of them are places I want to visit. That's slightly less than half of my dreams.. to go to the places I've only read about. Another 7 center on Taylor - being there to watch him achieve his milestones. Graduate from high school and college, get married, have children. I realize that those are my dreams FOR him and not necessarily my dreams. At the time, Taylor had not yet started kindergarten and there was no line between his life and mine. Would he love school? Would he make friends? What sport would he play? My life for 13 years was driving to events, play dates, practices... helping with homework, reading bedtime stories, hiring tutors... buying a tuxedo for prom, buying a truck for his first vehicle... helping with college applications, touring colleges, meeting with recruiters, saying goodbye, enduring boot camp, combat training, and job school... I held my breath. I wanted every single dream of his to come true. Tell me how I can make his life a little better and I will. Tell me what I can do as mom. My focus was Taylor. I wouldn't change a single thing. He is the best accomplishment I ever hope to have in life. He is a fine and wonderful Marine. He has all his dreams in reach.
I can breathe now. Slowly and luxuriously... slowly with my arms spread wide to gather in all the possibilities. I can exhale all the worry and breathe in the possibilities as cliche as that sounds. It is time to make a bucket list, a real bucket list. Let's clarify what I want, really want to do with my life.
1. I want to go to Paris. I do. I know that is a common assertion among women, but I want to walk the streets and sit in the cafes. I want to gaze at the Mona Lisa and picnic under the Eiffel Tower. I want to journey to Versailles and eat cake. All the other trips on the list can be crossed off if I can go to Paris.
2. I want to snuggle with my grandchildren. This one is tricky because I know immediately upon hearing that I am going to be a grandmother, the cycle of trying to ensure that their dreams come true begins. However, I embrace that. I want to kiss their downy heads and breathe in their sweetness. I want to build pillow forts and read picture books to them. I want to play cars and go on adventures. I thoroughly enjoyed motherhood; I want to do it again... and be able to send them home when they get cranky like a proper grandma.
3. I want to have contributed something to the greater good. That's incredibly vague. However, I think it's human nature to want to be remembered. I want to touch lives, to make the world a better place, to ease a burden, to inspire a dream. I'm not sure we have lived if people are not sad when we have died. I want to live so when I am no longer here, people notice I am gone.
I am sitting her re-reading all the things on my original list and yes, I would love to do many of them. Others, I blame on the fight against turning 30. I mean, did I really want to bungee jump or hanglide? Really? In reality though, I've done a lot. If I can mark these three off the list, I'd say my life has been well-lived. Who knows what adventures I'll add next. :) I am breathing these days and it feels amazing.
Monday, June 4, 2012
The Things Left Unsaid...
I read somewhere once that people begin affairs because the new person hasn't heard your stories yet. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! One of the great parts of sharing your life with someone is the shorthand language that develops over time based on shared experiences, common adventures, simple day-to-day life. There is a specialness that comes with the silly inside information you know about the ones who share your life and allows you to tell an entire joke with a simple smile to one another or a singular word, to exclaim loudly your fear that your parent is slipping by the length of a hug when you leave a family gathering, to express severe hurt by not folding your partner's clothes when you fold your own. It's the things you do not have to say that really matters.
Of course, you don't have to be married to share this bond. Families have it; long-term roommates develop it. Life-long friends are lucky enough to share it too. The things left unsaid are some of the reasons I miss Taylor so desperately. For most of his life, it was just us. He is my best friend. He knows that I am prone to come home and put on my pjs regardless of the fact that it is not yet 5 pm. He knows I do not want to leave the house after it is dark outside and that I will watch America's Next Top Model whenever it is on television regardless of how many times I have seen the episode. I know how aggrevated he gets about certain situations, how thrilled he is when certain things go right, and just how picky he is about his clothes. I miss the laughter for no reason. I miss him saying the right punch lines to the nonsensical jokes that were our own language. I miss him being here to say the right thing without me having to explain the whole situation... I want to be able to use shorthand.
I didn't get invited to an event that I love attending every year. I cannot enumerate the reasons why I love attending without it sounding like I am silly and needy and just plain weird. I do not want to explain the background of the event and all that it entails. I just want to be able to come home, say that I didn't get invited, and be instantly and totally understood. Taylor would have said "Aw, Mom. I'm so sorry. I know how much that means to you." And he wouldn't have to say anything else... but maybe we could go get ice cream later...
Of course, you don't have to be married to share this bond. Families have it; long-term roommates develop it. Life-long friends are lucky enough to share it too. The things left unsaid are some of the reasons I miss Taylor so desperately. For most of his life, it was just us. He is my best friend. He knows that I am prone to come home and put on my pjs regardless of the fact that it is not yet 5 pm. He knows I do not want to leave the house after it is dark outside and that I will watch America's Next Top Model whenever it is on television regardless of how many times I have seen the episode. I know how aggrevated he gets about certain situations, how thrilled he is when certain things go right, and just how picky he is about his clothes. I miss the laughter for no reason. I miss him saying the right punch lines to the nonsensical jokes that were our own language. I miss him being here to say the right thing without me having to explain the whole situation... I want to be able to use shorthand.
I didn't get invited to an event that I love attending every year. I cannot enumerate the reasons why I love attending without it sounding like I am silly and needy and just plain weird. I do not want to explain the background of the event and all that it entails. I just want to be able to come home, say that I didn't get invited, and be instantly and totally understood. Taylor would have said "Aw, Mom. I'm so sorry. I know how much that means to you." And he wouldn't have to say anything else... but maybe we could go get ice cream later...
Monday, December 26, 2011
Happily NOT Medicated...
I started crying during my family's gift exchange. When my family opens their presents on Christmas Eve, it is a bit of a free for all. My sister and I hand out gifts to everyone and they open them immediately. I sometimes envy those families on telelvision where each person opens a gift, everyone ohs and ahs over it, the person says thank you to the giver, and they move on to let someone else open their special present. Our way is more fun though. Everyone still says thank you. The drawback is that no one ever knows what anyone received, except for what they gave. The only gifts I am aware of from this year are chairs my sister-in-law made for my sister and great-nephew. She's really talented and I wish she had drawn my name which brings back to me crying.
My niece drew my name for the gift exchange this year. She's my niece but she really fills the role of my little sister having came home from the hospital on my 16th birthday. (I had my very own version of 16 Candles because of it ~ but that's a different story....) She was 9 when Taylor was born and she became Taylor's surrogate big sister then. In other words, we are close. For Christmas, she gave me a orange-and-white polka dotted storage tote with stationary in it to write Taylor while he's in basic training and a picture frame shaped like a flag with a smiling man in fatigues holiding his young child. My eyes began to water. I put it down and handed out some more gifts. Nope... I am not one of those people who can cry without my face registering it. My nose become red, my skin blotches. I am an ugly cryer. When people started asking if I was okay, I went outside and really cried. My mom in typical mom fashion said... You are going to need to get stronger.
This is the last Christmas before Taylor enters the military. We don't know yet where he'll be next year. I doubt he'll be home and I hope he is stationed somewhere I can visit. I thought of all that instantly when I looked at the picture frame and yes, I cried. I love Christmas. It will never be the same. Different doesn't necessarily have to be bad though. I just need to process the changes.
My family wants to me to go to the doctor and request medication before Taylor leaves in early February. I don't want to do that. I want to rely on prayer and the people around me and yes, Moma, my own inner strength. I know Taylor is doing what God has called him to do. His enlistment into the Marines is a good thing. So, I am going to remain happily drug-free and non-medicated. Pray for us.
My niece drew my name for the gift exchange this year. She's my niece but she really fills the role of my little sister having came home from the hospital on my 16th birthday. (I had my very own version of 16 Candles because of it ~ but that's a different story....) She was 9 when Taylor was born and she became Taylor's surrogate big sister then. In other words, we are close. For Christmas, she gave me a orange-and-white polka dotted storage tote with stationary in it to write Taylor while he's in basic training and a picture frame shaped like a flag with a smiling man in fatigues holiding his young child. My eyes began to water. I put it down and handed out some more gifts. Nope... I am not one of those people who can cry without my face registering it. My nose become red, my skin blotches. I am an ugly cryer. When people started asking if I was okay, I went outside and really cried. My mom in typical mom fashion said... You are going to need to get stronger.
This is the last Christmas before Taylor enters the military. We don't know yet where he'll be next year. I doubt he'll be home and I hope he is stationed somewhere I can visit. I thought of all that instantly when I looked at the picture frame and yes, I cried. I love Christmas. It will never be the same. Different doesn't necessarily have to be bad though. I just need to process the changes.
My family wants to me to go to the doctor and request medication before Taylor leaves in early February. I don't want to do that. I want to rely on prayer and the people around me and yes, Moma, my own inner strength. I know Taylor is doing what God has called him to do. His enlistment into the Marines is a good thing. So, I am going to remain happily drug-free and non-medicated. Pray for us.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Life is about Relationships....Not Achievements.
Today is the first day of the new school year for teachers. I have already learned something important. Last night, I spent a few hours helping the middle child of one of my best friends with her summer reading assignments. It's one of those jobs that comes with long term friendships that you aren't sure why you are doing it, except that of course, you are doing it.
Lindsay had to read three American Literature classics to complete the assignment. She chose The Old Man and the Sea (I love this book; she hated it), Of Mice and Men (of course she loved it... it's Steinbeck), and The Joy Luck Club (I didn't say it was a classic but her teacher did, so hey..). She completed her assignments and I went over to help her tweak them, to refine them, to polish them up a little. Lindsay has often lived in the shadow of her more driven sister. She is quieter, less inclined to demand attention. It's easy to assume she is not as intelligent as the older sister. You would be wrong.
Lindsay had to write journal entries based on a character's point of view for each novel. When I read them, I was surprised to find that she had focused on relationships in a subtle way as she explored each book. Ask me what Hemmingway's masterpiece is about and I will tell you it is about chasing a dream, fighting for it, and losing it. Steinbeck's tome is tragic but the connecting theme is that dream ranch that Lennie and George both idealize. Tan is showcasing how the moms want the success and lives they were never able to have. My focus is on the achievement. Lindsay saw the people - the boy and Santiago, even Santiago and the fish... Lennie and George , of course.. but also the ranch hands as a whole... the mothers and daughters of every generation... The books are about relationships, about taking care of the people you are surrounded by. I, in my misguided Type-A brain, had only seen the striving for achievement. I was wrong.
Today, I begin my school year with a changed focus. It is not about achievement; Life is about relationships. Not how can I insure that I will have the best test scores, but how can I help my co-workers and my students. I'll be a better teacher for it, a better person, a better friend. Thanks Lindsay for the life lesson!
Lindsay had to read three American Literature classics to complete the assignment. She chose The Old Man and the Sea (I love this book; she hated it), Of Mice and Men (of course she loved it... it's Steinbeck), and The Joy Luck Club (I didn't say it was a classic but her teacher did, so hey..). She completed her assignments and I went over to help her tweak them, to refine them, to polish them up a little. Lindsay has often lived in the shadow of her more driven sister. She is quieter, less inclined to demand attention. It's easy to assume she is not as intelligent as the older sister. You would be wrong.
Lindsay had to write journal entries based on a character's point of view for each novel. When I read them, I was surprised to find that she had focused on relationships in a subtle way as she explored each book. Ask me what Hemmingway's masterpiece is about and I will tell you it is about chasing a dream, fighting for it, and losing it. Steinbeck's tome is tragic but the connecting theme is that dream ranch that Lennie and George both idealize. Tan is showcasing how the moms want the success and lives they were never able to have. My focus is on the achievement. Lindsay saw the people - the boy and Santiago, even Santiago and the fish... Lennie and George , of course.. but also the ranch hands as a whole... the mothers and daughters of every generation... The books are about relationships, about taking care of the people you are surrounded by. I, in my misguided Type-A brain, had only seen the striving for achievement. I was wrong.
Today, I begin my school year with a changed focus. It is not about achievement; Life is about relationships. Not how can I insure that I will have the best test scores, but how can I help my co-workers and my students. I'll be a better teacher for it, a better person, a better friend. Thanks Lindsay for the life lesson!
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