Finding the Good

 Last week was full of wonderful things. I read a great book. I worked the election with great friends and sang off-key karaoke in a Waffle House afterward out of exhaustion. I had a wonderful manicure, I ate good food, and I played cards with friends and laughed a lot. I rounded out the week by helping with a Christmas project to benefit deployed military. It was truly a great week. Finding the positive was really easy last week.

Then, late Sunday night, my son called. He was obviously upset and my mom heart dropped. His brother had been killed in a senseless act of violence. My son and Hunter shared a dad. Taylor was 7 years old when Hunter was born and though they lived in separate houses, they grew up together. They shared stories, memories, and when you saw them standing together, it was obvious they were brothers. Although it was late, Taylor started the 6 hour drive home to be with his dad and extended family. My heart broke for Hunter's mom, dad, brothers, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and friends. This was going to be a truly horrible week.

The week got worse. My mom called Tuesday morning, sobbing and yelling into the phone. She had fallen in the yard and could not get up. I hustled my students to a nearby teacher's classroom and rushed to her house. Her hip was broken and an ambulance rushed her to the ER.

A hospital stay and surgery during the time of Covid. A funeral for a 20 year old with a big smile. How can there be anything positive in this horrible week of pain? There was. There always is.

Like most 20 year olds, Hunter did not have life insurance. However, in less than a week, friends, family, and complete strangers donated over $11,000 to pay for his funeral expenses. That is a huge blessing to this family. There is enough pain without having the added stress of trying to figure out how they will cover funeral expenses. If you gave, THANK YOU! If you didn't, it's okay. Please pray for the family. The funeral was not the end of their pain. The donations are a huge positive.

Yesterday, despite Covid, the church was packed. Mourners sat every other row. Many wore blue flannel to honor Hunter. The salvation message was preached and many present raised their hands when the preacher asked for those who had prayed the sinner's prayer of salvation to raise their hands. HUGE positive!

Hunter's mom sobbed through the service. My hearts broke for her and still does. During the service, his dad got up and walked across the sanctuary to where she sat to comfort her. Theirs was not a gentle parting of ways. Both are angry. Both are hurt. When he walked to her, he was showing that love overcomes all the hate. He was comforting the mother of his children. I was proud of him. Positive!

Will has had challenges over the last few years. I have avoided him. It is hard to see the man you loved not be who he should be. But this week, I saw the guy I knew long ago. He was there standing strong, mourning but standing strong. Positive!

I sat with a pew of Marines during the funeral. All decked out in their dress blues. They were there to show Taylor support. One and his wife had cooked Taylor dinner the night before. Two had spent hours in the garage letting Taylor vent and cry and vent some more late into the night. They exemplified that the military is a brotherhood. They have each other's backs always. Positive!

When I called my principal to tell him that my mom had fallen and that I needed to get to my mom. He didn't scold me for not putting students first or tell me I needed to complete paperwork. He asked what the address was. He was heading to help me help my mom. I LOVE that! I don't think I will ever be able to explain what that meant in that moment, but I was overwhelmed. His first thought was to come help. POSITIVE!

My mom's hip replacement surgery went well.  She was surrounded by prayers. Co-workers and friends reached out daily to ask what they could do to help us. Positive.

Don't get me wrong. It's been a horrible, terrible, gut wrenching week.  However, I just wanted to say that in all the pain and stress of everything, positive things happened. I believe life is normally like that. There are pockets of joy and love and hope mixed in with the bad. We just have to take a moment to appreciate that they are there. Those pockets are what makes it possible to survive all the rest.

Please overlook the rambling and lack of wit in this post. It's been a week. Thanks for being part of the good in my life and the world.

Sometimes You Just Have to Spit the Cookie Out...

I observe Lent every year.  I'm not Catholic and I know that my salvation rests in God's grace alone, but Lent gives me the opportunity to focus on the sacrifice that made my salvation possible. I spend time praying and thinking and praying some more about what I should give up or take up. I've given up bread which was difficult.  I've given up reading for pleasure which I thought might be the one I could not complete.  I've taken up blogging and walking.  The daily focus required by Lent allows me to grow as a Christian every year but this year's answer to what to give up still made me hesitate, it made me want to beg for another option, it made me realize God had a message to share with me. I gave up chocolate for Lent.

I love chocolate.  This is not an overstatement.  The aroma of it makes me smile automatically. The smooth texture of it is luxurious. The taste of it in its many incarnations is delightful.. I could do a riff on the many forms of chocolate that would make Bubba  jealous that he only got to speak about shrimp but I will restrain myself to simply say...  I LOVE CHOCOLATE.... How will I survive 40 days without my staple? The answer to that is easy, I told myself.  Every time I want chocolate, I will focus on the greater picture of Jesus' sacrifice. However, God is a master teacher.  He told me to give up chocolate understanding it would be hard, but also knowing I would be surrounded by it.  He didn't want me to simply focus on the sacrifice; He planned on using Lent for a 40 day object lesson.

Every single one of us is a sinner. We were born sinners; we will die sinners. The only hope for us is God's grace. We ask God to forgive us and beg to be covered by the blood of the Lamb.  He does this willingly because He loves us.  However, then we go about our daily lives doing whatever. We say we cannot help it and God will forgive us anyway. Sin is a choice though. Every time we sin, every single time, we side with the devil. We choose to sin. What does this have to do with chocolate? Simple, in my 40 day object lesson, the Master teacher is illustrating this choice.

When we accept Christ as our savior, we know that there are certain big things that we are walking away from. Because everyone feels convicted about different things, I will stick with the 10 commandments, tithing, growing as a believer, and witnessing. I think these are the basics. In my Lent lesson, these are represented by the obvious things.  No Hershey's kisses, no Valentine's Day candy, no chocolate cake, no Oreos, etc. I am giving up chocolate for 40 days so obviously I understand that I cannot go grab a handful of M&Ms.  This is basic commitment. However, sin is everywhere and it is unbelievably easy to slip up.

I had to work registration this past week.  The faculty met with each student and a paretn to discuss class choices for the next school year.  Because we would be working through dinner, the administration provided sub sandwiches and cookies for us.  A co-worker was eating cookies and I asked if I could have one.  They were soft warm chocolate chip cookies.  Was I thinking about Lent?  Nope. I was sitting there laughing with co-workers, waiting on parents.  In other words, I was going about my daily business. I took a bite and it was delicious.  Almost instantaneously, another co-worker declined a cookie saying he had given up sweets for Lent.  Jolted, I spit the bite of cookie out and sputtered "me too!" I had almost broken my promise because I wasn't paying attention. Lesson two... God knows we are going to mess up but we have to keep our focus on Him.

I was shaken that less than a week into Lent, I had almost failed. I take this sacrifice seriously.  God is amazing.  He revealed the lesson plan to me.  I'm supposed to think about my response to sin throughout this process. It's not about chocolate at all.  Chocolate is just the vehicle He is going to use to demonstate the lesson. This is why I was able to withstand gobbling up any of the miniature candy bars that were in bowls all the way down the conference table at the board meeting I attended yesterday. Four different flavors - all of which I enjoy - were right in front of me for the taking as were homemade chocolate chip cookies and chocolate doughnuts. I almost laughed at the excess of it.  The sad reality is that there is a buffet of sin available for us to participate in every single day. We have to trust in the Lord to give us the strength to say no to it.

I cannot wait to see what chocolate lesson God uses to teach me tomorrow.... and I really cannot wait until Easter when I plan to eat M&Ms and Hersheys kisses and Dove chocolates and a solid chocolate Easter bunny and a huge slice of chocolate cake.... MMMMM.... Did I mention I love chocolate?

It's Been the Point From the Start.

As a history teacher, I want students to realize that there is one theme that connects all of history - Conflicts create crises which lead to change. If students can understand that one principle, they can pretty much look at any history situation and analyze the cause-effect relationship between the events. It's THE point; the one thing students must get to truly understand history. I find it funny that I totally grasp that history has one central theme and yet, I missed the fact that the great teacher (our Heavenly Father) has only one main point too.  Every sin must be covered by blood, perfect blood.

Please don't stop reading because I mentioned God. Stick with me. This may be the most important thing I have ever tried to write.  I am so excited about it, I want to shout! God told us from the beginning that there had to be blood shed. From the very beginning.  From Genesis, the very first book!

I always discounted the Old Testament. I always thought... "Well, yeah, it says that, but that's the Old Testament". Then, thankfully, Jesus came and saved us. The New testament is what I have to focus on.  I based my faith in Christ alone because without Him, I am guilty of sin and the wages of sin are death. That part of my belief hasn't changed! Jesus Christ is still the one and only way that you can be saved.  What has changed is my view of the Old Testament. God isn't simply telling us our history.  He isn't simply saying here's how rough it used to be,  here are your great forefathers (and mothers) of faith.  He is telling us that sin must always be covered by blood.  Every single sin. I am blown away by this right now.

You don't have to be a great Bible scholar to know the story of the beginning.  God made the world. He spoke it into existence (and trust me, that was the Big Bang). The Garden of Eden was perfection.  There was every need supplied and met.  Adam walked with God in the evenings.  He walked with Him.  How incredibly cool is that! And then, ... Mankind screwed it up.  Eve believed the serpeant, Adam followed suit.  This is the first sin. Think about it.  Life was perfect and the first time, someone asks why can't you have absolutely everything?  We sin...  (You can't see me, but I am shaking my head because wow.. that one just hit home too...)  Back to the story of original sin... Adam & Eve sin.  They hide from God. (yep.. we still do this.). Then, God asked them what they had done.  They confessed. God punished them and future generations for their sin. Then, in Genesis 3:21. it says "Unto Adam also and to his wife did the Lord God make coats of skins, and clothed them." Did you catch it? I never had until this weekend. I knew God clothed them in skins.  I guess I always thought that was about sturdier clothing.  God providing better for us even when we thought we had it handled with flimsy fig leaves. But it's not!  God shed blood to cover the sin.  WOW!!!! Sin #1... Sacrifice #1 to cover the sin so we may be forgiven.

Cain and Abel... Exodus from Egypt...All the stories.  Every single story points to the one and only point! Our sins require a sacrifice of perfect blood.  God, our Heavenly Father, loved us enough to give His one and only son as that sacrifice for us and all we have to do to be covered is totally and honestly accept that TRUTH.  It's the only point and He makes it over and over and over from the BEGINNING because it is that important!!!

God is an awesome teacher! He tells us over and over because some of us it takes a little while to grasp it all. I just ordered The Miracle of the Scarlet Thread from Amazon. I feel like this is where I am supposed to focus right now. I'd love it if some of you joined me!!

The 7 Things Jesus Said On The Cross

Yesterday while searching the internet for Good Friday related thing, I saw several references to the 7 words that Jesus said on the cross.  They are actually phrases, but the point is that some religions have Good Friday ceremonies where they read and ponder on these 7 sayings.  Good Ole Baptists don't do this; we'd turn it into a dinner if we did.  Baptists love to eat and fellowship.  :) There is so much to be gained from Our Savior's last words as the savior in human form that I decided to share them today though.  We should all live as Jesus died.

My original thought was simply to copy and paste the entire posting from http://www.jesuschristsavior.net/Words.html. I trimmed it and added some of my own thoughts but it still a pretty large post.

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do."

Luke 23:34

Jesus says this first piece of advice only in the Gospel of Luke, just after he was crucified by the soldiers. The timing of this suggests that Jesus asks his Father to primarily forgive those who have tortured him, mocked him and nailed him to the cross. This could also apply to his friends who have deserted him, to Peter who has denied him three times, to the fickle crowd, who only days before praised him on his entrance to Jerusalem, and then days later chose him over Barabbas to be crucified.

Could this not also apply to us, who daily forget him in our lives?  Does he react angrily? No, he asks his Father to forgive them, because they are ignorant! At the height of his physical suffering, his Divine love prevails and He asks His Father to forgive his enemies. Wow!  What small petty hurt are we holding on so tightly to that we refuse to forgive?  This piece of advice strikes such a cord with me.  I am slow to forgive; I really need to follow His example here.

"Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise."  Luke 23:43

Even one of the criminals who Jesus has been hung between mocks Jesus. However, the criminal on the right stands up for Jesus, explaining that while the other two are guilty, "this man (Jesus) has done nothing wrong." Then, turning to Jesus, he asks, "Jesus, remember me when you come in your kingdom" (Luke 23:42). Ignoring his own suffering, Jesus mercifully responds. Isn't it amazing that Our Father continuously forgives and offers us grace when we are not worthy of it? The criminal simply had to ASK, and Jesus gave him pardon.

"Jesus said to his mother: "Woman, this is your son". Then he said to the disciple: "This is your mother." John 19:26-27

Mary was at the cross to watch her son die for us. How I ache for her as a mother myself.  I cannot imagine having to watch my son mocked, tortured, and crucified.  Jesus understands her pain. Jesus is concerned about taking care of his mother. Remember that the next time your mom wants you to take time out of your crazy schedule to do something for her.  Jesus' example is that we are to care for our mothers even in the worst personal time.

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"  Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34

The tone of this saying is totally different than the first three.  It has to be. This cry is from the painful heart of the human Jesus. Jesus feels separated from his Father because He is now bearing our sin. Without this separation, He does not become the Passover lamb for our salvation.  Jesus completely lives the human experience as we do, and by doing so, frees us from the clutches of sin. The burden of all the sins of humanity for a moment overwhelm the humanity of our Jesus, but it is only for a moment.  It is in defeat of his humanity that the Divine plan of His Father and Himself will be completed. It is by His death that we are redeemed. "For there is one God. There is also one mediator between God and the human race, Christ Jesus, himself human, who gave himself as ransom for all" (l Timothy 2:5-6).

"I thirst"

John 19:28

The fifth group of words from Jesus on the cross is His only human expression of His physical suffering. Jesus is now in shock. The wounds inflicted upon him in the scourging, the crowning with thorns, and the nailing upon the cross are now taking their toll. He is dying for us. 

"He himself bore our sins in his body upon the cross,
so that, free from sin, we might live for righteousness.
By his wounds you have been healed" (l Peter 2:24).

"It is finished";
and he bowed his head and handed over the spirit.

John 19:30

Jesus has achieved His purpose.  We have eternal life through Him. When Jesus died, He "handed over" the Spirit. They did not kill Him; He died for us.

Jesus cried out in a loud voice,
"Father, into your hands I commend my spirit":

Gospel of Luke 23:46

The seventh word of Jesus is directed to the Father in heaven, just before He dies. Jesus recalls Psalm 31:5 - "Into thy hands I commend my spirit; thou hast redeemed me, O Lord, faithful God."  We can be redeemed at that moment too.  Jesus died for us so that we might have eternal life. 

Tomorrow, we celebrate His resurrection.  Remember that among the bunnies and eggs.  :)

Jesus Died For Us. They Did Not Kill Him.

Today is Good Friday.  It is the day celebrated to commerorate the crucifiction of Jesus Christ, my Great Redeemer. The Passion of The Christ does a remarkable job visually showing the pain and agaony Jesus endured for each of us.  I cannot watch it without weeping.  I am so unworthy, and yet, He gave His life for me and you and anyone who will believe.  However, because He underwent such beatings and mocking and abuse, it may be assumed that Jesus was killed.  He was not. My Lord and Savior gave His life willingly.

The Easter Contata that we will perform Sunday includes a song entitled Behold the Lamb by Dottie Rambo. In it, I narrate several passages between the song lyrics.  My favorite section says this... "No one took his life from Him. He could have stopped the painful parade up to Calvary with a word, but He never uttered it.  Instead, He opened His arms to the beam, He opened His hands to the nails, and He allowed Himself to be crucified.... Behold the Lamb, surrendering His life, bearing our sin, absorbing the wrath of God in our place, and finally dying for our atonement."   They did not kill Him, my friends.  He died for us. Praise God!  He died for us so that we can have eternal life.

All you have to do to receive this blessing is ASK.  There is no great secret or huge hoop to jump through.  Ask. Below is the sinner's prayer in case you are struggling with what to say.  Feel free to put it in your own words.  What is in your heart is what truly matters....

"Heavenly Father, have mercy on me, a sinner. I believe in you and that your word is true. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God and that he died on the cross so that I may now have forgiveness for my sins and eternal life. I know that without you in my heart my life is meaningless.
I believe in my heart that you, Lord God, raised Him from the dead. Please Jesus forgive me, for every sin I have ever committed or done in my heart, please Lord Jesus forgive me and come into my heart as my personal Lord and Savior today. I need you to be my Father and my friend.
I give you my life and ask you to take full control from this moment on; I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ."
Amen. http://www.intothelight.org/answers/sinners-prayer.asp

If you have said the above prayer and truly meant it, you are now a child of God.  Your old life, whatever sin it may have contained, is over.  Live for Christ.  Grow in Christ.  I will be glad to help you figure out how to do that if you would like me to do so. Leave me a comment or send me an email to trayseetodd@yahoo.com.

Praying Through

On Sundays, I normally write a recount of the preacher's sermon in my blog.  I planned to do that yesterday, but when I sat down to write it, I couldn't. There were too many connections to my life. Yesterday's sermon was based on 1 Samuel 1 where Hannah is so heartbroken over her inability to have a child that she goes to the temple and prays.  She prays with her face on the ground, totally given over to her prayer.  She prays so passionately that the priest thinks she must be drunk.  She prays silently, mouthing the words, feeling each word.  She prays like we should pray, but we rarely do. Her prayer was answered.  God gave her Samuel and she gave him right back to the Lord. It's a wonderful story. 

When I was a little girl, my mom had a big red medical dictionary with pictures that she kept on the bottom part of the side table (the tables that sit beside the couch and hold the lamp or they did in the 70's at least). I loved to read even back then, and if I had ran out of things to read, I would read this book.  The pictures were pretty gross for the most part; however, there was an entire section on the stages of childhood.  Each developmental stage had a picture - a rosy cheeked baby, a chubby kneed toodler, a curly haired five year old, etc. I named each of these children and made them mine.  I wanted at least ten kids.  I would lower that number to six by the time I was married, but I always wanted a ton of children. I could not wait to be a mom. I totally understand Hannah's heartbreak. Every month that I was not pregnant after I was married, I cried. I cried for the loss.  I cried out of self-pity. I wanted a child so badly.   Three years of tears and trying and heartbreak, I was given Taylor. God blessed me with this one amazing child. Hannah sat through ceremonies where she had to watch every other woman give thanks for their children, and she was barren.  She turned to the only person who could help.  She turned to God. God answered her prayer.  He's amazing like that.

Hannah didn't pray the watered down prayers that we often do though.  She prayed a passionate prayer. This was her heart's desire. She prayed prostrate - face down.  She prayed in her heart.  No words were said; only her lips moved.  She wasn't just saying some rhyming phrase she learned as a child.  She was begging her Heavenly Father for a child. I've heard some strong prayers in my lifetime. My dad prays and you know when you hear it, it is a reverent prayer.  My dad is a reverent man.  I have been deeply moved witnessing little children at Backyard Bible Club all pray out loud together (like Wesleyans) and know they are talking to their friend. The prayer of another that I was most moved by though was a prayer that mirrored Hannah's prayer. Preacher Ray ( a former preacher at RCBC) prayed one night at the altar in a service where you could feel God's presence.  I don't know what he was praying about, but he was heartbroken without a doubt.  He prayed and prayed and then, laid his face on the ground with his arms outstretched and continued to pray and cry.  When he finally stood, I had no doubt that he had spoken with God. It was a powerful site.  I want to be that prayer warrior. We should all pray those types of passionate prayers for the lost, the homeless, for this world we live in.

Hannah prayed with great humility.  She didn't walk in and demand things of God. She said she was His handmaiden.  A handmaiden is the equivalent of a female slave.  She didn't say I am a really good woman, so please give me this child.  She asks humbly for a child and says she will give the child back to God. She wasn't making a foxhole deal with God.  She wasn't saying if you do this, then I'll do that - only to totally forget the promise as soon as she conceived.  Too often today, people try to bargain with the Lord. We make deals.  If you will heal me, I'll start coming to church.  If you will allow me to get this job, I'll start tithing. If you will fix my marriage, I'll become a better person. He doesn't need whatever you could offer.  He is the Great I AM.  Come to Him as His humble servant.  To do otherwise is disrespectful.

I've came to the Lord a few times heartbroken and begged Him to fix the situations. I did not do it at the altar.  I have sobbed in my bed begging Him to fix my marriage. I have sank to the floor in the shower begging Him to help me through a painful situation involving Taylor when he was younger. I begged Him with all I had to not take Taylor when the doctor said he may have Leukemia even if all I could get out was the word Please. I prayed fiercely when Taylor said he wanted to enlist. God answered in each of those cases.  The answer was NO in a few.  He gave me strength through each situation though.  I did not demand His help.  I begged Him.  Come to God humbly.

Hannah kept praying until she had been heard.  She prayed through. This is an old expression that you don't hear much anymore.  Today, we pray at the altar until the music hits the second or third verse and then, we get up because everyone wants to go home.  Think about that.  We go to the altar to speak to our Lord and Savior and then, we cut it short because other people might want to go home and watch television. If you are heartbroken, pray until God answers you.  Remember that the answer may be no. You aren't praying until He says yes.  You are praying in great humility, with great passion until He answers. Prayer is not supposed to be a postcard. Wish You were here. Prayer is a conversation. It's a chatty letter where you take the time to communicate with the most important person in your life. Take the time to pray.

God gave Hannah a child. She named him Samuel which means "Because I have asked him of the Lord".  She gave praise to God for the blessing.  We need to be continually praising God for His blessings on us. God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.

Putting All The Pieces Together

My friend, Avannah, gave me a beautiful shirt last week. She felt the blouse was more suited to my style than hers.  I absolutely love clothing, so I was thrilled.  Saturday afternoon, I wore it for prom pictures.  It is a wrap-style silk shirt with a sash that circles the waist and ties in front.  When I first put it on, I was confused by how the sash should go and in pictures, the shirt looks ill-fitting on me.  I changed into another shirt before heading downtown for more photos.  This morning, I put the shirt back on determined to figure out the fit issue.  It is a beautiful shirt so it is worth the effort.  I realized that I needed to thread the sash through certain slits in the shirt to achieve the proper fit.  I had corrected the problem by looking at the design closer. I wore it to church with a camisole underneath since the wrap left more uncovered than I wanted exposed. At lunch, I realized that the shirt had a small clasp that actually connected the two portions of the garment making the shell underneath totally unnecessary. I had overlooked important information. I had simply put the shirt on twice without taking time to adequately look at the shirt.  I assumed that I knew all I needed to know, but I was wrong. I needed to slow down and put the pieces together using the design the maker planned.

God has designed our lives for a specific purpose, and we need to slow down to understand each part.  We need to make sure that we are putting all the pieces together correctly. Earlier in the week, I planned to blog about Francis Chan's Crazy Love. I have been reading this incredible book slowly after a student asked me to read it with him. The section that I planned to write about deals with who God truly is.  God is holy, eternal, and all-knowing.  He is perfect love, and He knows the true you.  On Sunday mornings, many people dress up and put their best face forward as they shake hands with the members of the congregation around them.  God knows though.  He is the all-knowing, all-powerful savior who knows the TRUE us and died for us anyway.  Wow.  Chan further explains that the true being of God is so massive that our understanding of him can be compared to trying to fit the ocean into a soda can.  He is vast. We cannot even fathom His true greatness with our limited minds.  The creator of the universe knows us, knows what we think about in our weakest moments and He still died for us. Yet, even though we cannot truly grasp how amazing He is, we question Him. Chan asserts that arrogance makes us question God.  People ask if there truly is a God, then why is there hunger in the world? Chan answers this.  The answer hit home. God has more of a right to ask us why people are starving in the world. What have we done to feed them, to clothe them, to house them, to reach them?

As a teacher, I know that the basic needs of a child must be met before they can learn.  It's one of the first teaching principles in education programs.  You must make the child feel safe. Ensure they are warm; they are nourished. If they are worried about survival, you cannot really expect them to focus on US History or quadratic equations or whatever. Yet, I have totally overlooked this from a spiritual standpoint.  I didn't blog about this although I had planned to do so.  God knew I didn't have all the pieces yet.

Our sermon this morning was about Life in Christ Jesus.  There are three types of life - judicial, spiritual, and eternal.  Judicial life is the pardon we have received from God.  Jesus died on the cross for my sin, for your sin, for the sin of the world. Yet, we question Him. We make excuses for the sin in our lives.  God never excuses sin.  He hates it.  Remember that on the cross He endured great pain and suffering for us because of our sin, and we want to bargain with him to continue sinning. We bargain with God. The Almighty, Creator of universes sent His only begotten son to die so we could be pardoned and we want to strike a deal to keep on sinning. I am not suggesting that we can ever not sin.  We have a sinful nature by birth, but we need to start TRYING to not sin.  We should respect the judicial life God has granted us.  The second life is our spiritual life.  God has sent us witnesses to tell us of His grace.  If we reject this grace, we will have to answer for this at the judgement seat.  Do you want to face God and say yes, I heard the truth but I rejected it?  John the Baptist bore witness that Jesus was the Son of God.  The works of God bear witness that He is real, that God is truth. The Father himself speaks to us. Why do people not answer? John 5:40 says "And ye will not come to me, that ye might have life."  The third type of life we have in God is eternal life. Thank you, God! We do not have to face the wages of our sin, but can have eternal life instead.  I started to blog about this sermon earlier today, but God wasn't through showing me pieces yet.

Choir practice for the Easter Contata continued today.  One of the songs touches me deeply every week.  In Before the Throne of God Above, the words "the King of Glory and of Grace. One with Himself, I cannot die" resonate with me and give me peace. Taylor can enlist.  He can go fight.  He is saved and under God's protection.  He has eternal life.  Every week, as we practice this song, God reminds me of the importance of salvation.  I didn't know the song gave me a piece of a larger conversation until today though.

The final piece was delivered via the serman tonight.  The preacher struggled to deliver his message.  After the service, a couple of teachers joked that he needed ritalin since he seemed to be all over the place tonight.  He said he had a message all planned out about how people perceive some great mystery surrounding Jesus when it is really simple.  Jesus died for our sins.  You must ask for forgiveness and receive salvation to receive eternal life.  That simple.  No big mystery surrounding it.  Click. The lost aren't coming to Him because they haven't been told that one simple message yet in very easy terms.  Jesus Christ died for your sins and mine.  He did so willingly.  He wants to pardon your sins and give you eternal life.  There is no mystery.  Ask God to forgive your sins.  No bargaining.  You have sinned and can never deserve eternal life.  God will give it to you though. What are you waiting on? You have all the pieces in front of you.

I am amazed that God offers me small parts of a larger picture all throughout the week. I need to slow down to make sure I don't miss the big picture. It's too important.

Are You Tipping God Instead Of Tithing?

Let's get right to it, my friends.  What did you put in the offering plate this morning? 10% of your income as required by scripture or did you pull out a twenty, a ten, a five and drop it in the plate? Did you honor all that the savior has given you or did you find a small enough bill to TIP God? I want you to receive all God has to offer you, so please... Keep reading.

We are living in a time of inflation.  Gas is high; food prices have increased.  Money is tight. You gave what you could afford to give.  God knows your heart and he understands.  Any of these sound familiar?  They do to me.  I've used every single one to justify my keeping money that belonged to God. What I was really doing was keeping money from myself?

Our message this morning was from 1Kings 17: 10 - 16. Elijah has been provided for by ravens while he was hanging out by the stream as God commanded him.  How cool is that?  Birds bringing him bread every morning and night.  He is told to move from this easy life though and go to Zarephath where a widow woman will care for him.  He does.  Smart man.  When God tells you to do something, do it. He finds the widow, asks for a drink of water, and she starts to go get it.  Then, he asks for bread.  The woman tells him that she can't do this, that she only has enough for her and her little son who will eat it and then, die.  It is their very last meal on this earth.  Elijah listens to her. Then, he tells her to go fix the bread for him first and that they'll be enough for them some too, that there will be enough for them all always.  Did you catch that? He asked her to give BEFORE receiving a blessing.

As a single mom, I don't think I could have done it.  I could not have put this stranger's needs before my young child.  I would be so wrong. She does it, and by doing so saves her son's life. They have food, and when her son dies in verse 18, Elijah prays for the boy's spirit to be returned to his body.  God answers this prayer.  The boy is saved again because his mom did what God told her to do. God rewards obedience.

Let's go back to the original question... Did you tithe this morning as God commands? If you didn't because you were afraid you wouldn't have enough money for gas or to go out to eat with your friends or buy a new Easter outfit (or some silly ring like I wrote about earlier this week), what blessing did you keep from yourself? How wonderful life would be if we all did what we were supposed to do... Tithe.  Don't just tip God.

Standing In Awe..

I love sunsets. I have always felt like sunsets are paintings from God for us to marvel. The beautiful pinks and oranges, the billowing white of the clouds illuminated by the rays of a setting sun bring a smile to my face every single time I see them. Here I am, He says. How can anyone not see God when they look at His masterpiece hanging in the sky, changing colors and dimensions until He wipes the canvas clean and allows the moon to rise? My God is an awesome God.

I have began reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It is a small book, but one I am reading slowly, deliberately to allow each word speak to me.  In it, the author makes the point immediately that we serve an amazing God.  He is not some far-away concept of a being.  He is here with us every day, and He wants us to stand awestruck at His sheer magnitude.  Only when we realize how truly capable and masterful He is, can we understand the sacrifice that He made for us - the totally insignificant, undeserving sinners we are. Marvel at Him.

One of the first exercises that you are to do while reading the book is view a slideshow of the Earth that slowly zooms out to show the existence of stars, the solar system, the galaxy, and the multitude of galaxies that exist.  Yes, our Creator made all of that. Pretty impressive stuff, but you expect things of that magnitude from Him. Now, realize that He also made caterpillars who have 228 separate and distinct muscles in its head. Wow... I read that and said wow...  That is incredibly intricate and detail oriented.  Yes, I expect my God to create galaxies but He also created a teeny tiny little creature with 228 muscles just in its head.  Okay, keep going...  He also engineered the whole system where plants take in carbon dioxide (poison to us) and produce oxygen (life for us).  I stand in awe at the brillance of My God.

Now, keep going.. Lets make this personal.  Every single person has a different laugh.  There are giggles, quiet hidden laughter, snorts, loud boisterous laughter like mine.  He even thought to do that. Love that!

This is where I am in the book, but like so many things I read, I have been pondering it, applying it to various parts of my life. I sat this evening watching Taylor play softball right beside my ex-husband.  This is a new experience.  Taylor's dad has not attended many of his events due to work and other things.  He is making a concentrated effort to change this now.  We talked about various people who attended Taylor's birthday barbeque last weekend and he commented on how changed everyone is from when we were first dating 23 years ago. We have all changed, but each change is individual too. No two people are exactly alike. God made every single person on this earth an individual.

I have wrinkles. I've earned them.  I am 42 and a mom, so yes.. I have lines on my face. My wrinkles are totally different than anyone elses.  They tell MY story.  I have laugh lines around my eyes.  I love to laugh. If you meet me and know absolutely nothing about me, you can look at my face and know that I am a genuinely happy person.  I also have deep concentration crevices (or at least they feel that way to me) in my forehead.  This tells the stranger looking at me that I am also a thinker who worries about things. These deep forehead lines bother me, but there's no reason to worry about me turning to Botox. God has made my face this unique. Why would I ever change it?

Look around you.  There are flowers blooming.  The grass is turning green.  Birds are singing; each type serenading us with a completely different tune. Caterpillars are becoming butterflies. Stand awestruck. Our God is an awesome God.

God Talks. Do You Listen?

I love gospel music.  I'm not a big fan of Christian rock or rap or the new types of Christian music that are reaching wide audiences.  I understand their mission to reach various audiences with The Word, but I want sweeter notes than that for my own pesonal listening. I want songs that will play in my head over and over throughout the week. Luckily, I have had that recently.  That's What a Savior Does... from our upcoming Easter Contata and You are the potter, I am the clay from today's services have been on repeat since I heard them.  I love the music of the songs, but more than that, I love the message of the songs. I believe that God speaks to us in a number of ways daily.  Music is one of the prettiest ways He carries on a conversation with us.

People do not want to believe that God speaks to us anymore, that is just something that you read about in the Bible. I serve a living God, however.  I have a relationship with my savior.  He is my Heavenly Father.  He talks to me. What does he say?  Well, that depends...

I want you to think about your best friend, your mom, or your boss. With all your heart, you want to visit Paris. You go to these three people, and say I would really love to go to Paris during the spring.  It's supposed to be absolutely beautiful; it's the city of lights.  It's the city of romance. I want to go and walk through the streets feeling the wonder of it all.  Your best friend who has known you forever looks at you, smiles, and asks "can you afford to go?".  You go look over your financials and realize that yes, if you scrape and don't pay a few bills, you can go.  You run back to your friend, and inform her you can. If you use all your savings and get behind on your bills, what happens if your car breaks down or you get sick? That is definitely not going to happen, you assure her.  Then, you notice that your car has a rattle and your throat hurts a little. You realize that maybe you should save for the trip without putting everything else in your life at risk.  Did your best friend talk to you?  Yes.  God will have this same conversation with you if you talk to him like the friend He is.

Okay... mom or dad's turn. Go to your parents and tell them that you want to go to Paris.  They explain like your best friend that you can't really afford to go right now, but if you save you can go later... maybe when you can walk through the streets of Paris with a husband. (They're parents.. they can't help this..).  You, however, want to go right now so you ask them to pay for you to go, to let you use their frequent flyer points, to make it possible for you to win a free trip, to make it happen for you to go even though you cannot afford it. They tell you NO. Did they answer your question? Yes. God always answers prayers; sometimes the answer happens to be no.

Your boss?  You go to your boss and tell him that you have always wanted to go to Paris.  Maybe, he sees this as a great opportunity and explains that he can use you there for this huge project the company is working on. Maybe, he says, I need you here to finish the work we are doing and you cannot go to Paris right now. Either way, your boss spoke to you. God is our ultimate boss. We serve Him.

Sometimes the dialogue with God is straight forward and simple as if you were speaking to your friend, you parent, or your boss.  Other times, it is a feeling that washes over you when you hear a song, see a painting, or read an article. God is talking. Listen.

I had a friend this week pray about whether or not she should attend a conference.  She had been given free tickets, but just felt ill at ease about going.  She prayed about it, felt she had received her answer, but still struggled.  The tickets were free afterall.  Another friend told her to cast out a fleece, to ask for a sign.  She felt odd about that.  Weren't signs more of Old Testament thing?  She asked though.  If she was not to go, please let her see a blue bird.  If she was to go, please send her a red bird. There were no birds around her house, but when she started inside, two blue birds flew by.  She laughed.. Okay, what if that was just a coincidence???  So, she prayed again... Ummm... Lord, if that was a sign, please send me another blue bird...  She opened her eyes and there came another blue bird. She spent the time with her family instead of attending the conference. God answers us when we ask in a variety of ways.

Listen...

We All Get Where We Are Headed Eventually...

Twice today I had wise wonderful women offer their sympathies over the fact that Taylor is enlisting in the military.  They have both worked with me and know beyond a shadow of doubt how precious my only child is to me. Anyone who has ever spent more than five minutes with me knows that Taylor is my everything. When I became a teacher, my students upon meeting Taylor would simply tell him that I talked about him all the time; he simply nodded in response.  I have always talked about him.... to everyone.. to anyone. How will I ever survive his leaving? I will because it is what Taylor is supposed to do.

I support Taylor's decision to enlist even if it is not the decision I would have made for my bright, talented young man. Why? He needs to follow his own path to go where God wants him to serve.  I truly believe that God plans for us all to fulfill a specific role.  He has equipped it for the work we are to do, but sometimes, we wander off the path. We want to make more money or the path is a hard climb or we want to have the fairy tale right at that moment rather than doing what we know we should do. 

I am called to teach.  I was called to teach a long time ago, but the corporate world paid more, offered more adventure, and was where I wanted to be. I ran from teaching. Then, eight years ago, my big corporate dream went away.  I sent resumes. I interviewed for jobs. I was offered jobs.  I could not accept a single one without crying. I knew I was supposed to teach. Stepping back onto the path that I had so willingly hopped off of was rough to say the least.  I had no money. I had a child to support.  We did without. The year and a half that I was back in college and the first six months of my teaching career are not times I want to recall. If it had not been for my grandmother's love and biscuits, well... it would have been a lot rougher.  I made it through to teach. Taylor and I survived. My life would have been so much easier if I had simply listened to God and stayed on the path I was supposed to be on to begin with.

Taylor is called to be a Marine.  No one doubts this. Strangers upon meeting him ask what branch of the military he is in.  His favorite toys growing up were GI Joes and army men.  His favorite game was war.  I do not want him to leave.  I would die myself before ever seeing my child in harm's way if I could.  God has called Taylor to serve though. I remember how hard it was to climb back on my path, to get to exactly the place I was supposed to be all along....  Taylor is not running from his path.  He is going to do amazing things.

Sundays in the South

Technically speaking, I do not have to blog today because Sundays are the free pass day of Lent.  I'm not sure I understand this logic since Lent is supposed to honor the 40 days Jesus spent preparing to die for our sins, and I don't recall reading anywhere that Jesus took Sundays off. I'm really liking the blogging anyway.  It makes me think about a wide variety of topics.  I probably come up with 3 - 4 things to write about for every single thing that makes its way to this blog. My mind just works that way.  Today's blog was an easy choice.  Today is Sunday, the Lord's Day.  I absolutely adore Sundays in the South. If you are not from the South, you may not understand why I had to differentiate that I love Sundays in the South and not just Sundays in general. If you are Southern though, you know that Sundays are about friends, family, rest, and most importantly, serving the Lord.

I attend a small church in Liberty.  I love the people there.  Church services begin at 10:30 a.m. I normally arrive around 10:25 a.m., so it is not like I have huge amounts of spare time to play with if I am running behind.  This morning, I was doing just that.  I forgot that it was daylight savings, so even though my clock said I had plenty of time, I did not. I rushed to get ready and leave the house only to realize that I was out of gas and needed to stop to refuel before church or risk not getting there.  I also needed a bag for a wedding shower to be held after church which I meant to get yesterday and never did.  I thought about not going at all since so many things were going wrong, but I went. I am so thankful because if I had stayed home, I would have missed a blessing. God was at RCBC this morning.

This is Steve McLane who is serving as the preacher during the interim period.  He preaches more like a Wesleyan than a good ole Baptist, but God is in him. This morning he led service using scripture from Matthew and his points were simple.  We think there has to be so much more to salvation than there is.  We feel we have to work for it, that we can somehow become worthy of it.  God does not deal with us based on our worth.  Did you get that?  God deals with us even though we could never be worthy of the sacrifice. Second, God doesn't charge us for His gifts.  They are freely given.  You could never afford the peace of God. I need this peace more than ever, and I just have to pray for it. It's free. Jesus paid for it on Calvary. He descended and snatched the keys from Satan before ascending to Heaven. "Jesus Christ ain't no wimp."  Steve did a colorful version of how he thought that went down with Jesus kicking open the door, slapping Satan, and taking the keys.  We are no longer in bondage because Jesus Christ died for our sins and was resurrected. Wow. I serve a powerful God. His final point was that we are to give to others.  Share what God has given you.  No one is talking money here.  God has given you a gift.  Use it. I'm so glad I showed up this morning.

Sundays in the South are also about family and friends.  Although Taylor was raised in RCBC, he changed churches as a youth to Red Hill where his best friend attends.  I am okay with this change.  He is under the word of God and is involved.  I love the people at Red Hill; I just feel God wants me at Rices Creek.  However, every Sunday, I meet Taylor and a huge group at Michaels Restaurant in Pickens for lunch.  Michaels in locaed on Main Street and serves a basic meat and three dinner.  The food is great! It's hilarious to sit at the table and listen to five different conversations that are going around around you.  It's a mixed group of school teachers, teenagers, a court reporter, and a retired highway patrol.  Everyone likes each other, so we can just laugh and catch up on what has been happening since last Sunday. My biological family gathers en masse about five times/year; this created family of friends gathers every week.  Nothing better than Southern food and laughter.

I normally try to grab a nap on Sundays as any good Baptist does.  Today, I couldn't because I had a review session for my AP US History class. I try to hold a review session every Sunday before each unit test. With AP classes, there simply isn't time to cover the material and review in the allotted time. We meet at the public library and review for about an hour. A third of my students were there today. Because it was sunny and beautiful outside, we reviewed on the picnic tables.  The girls hair got tangled by the wind and it was a little warm, but the fresh air did us all good. Good weather just makes Sundays in the South better.

Still no time for a nap because I had choir practice at 5 pm. I cannot sing.  I love to sing, but I cannot sing.  I can, however, talk so I am serving as the narrator for the Easter cantata.  Jared Roper (our music minister) does a great job of playing and singing every single part.  I never hear any difference but the real singers do.  I just smile until it is time to speak.  Speaking is easy.. singing is prettier though. God works at all times.  During rehearsal, Jared entioned that he had been reading the Bible through with his children every night and people are taught HUGE lessons that they then promptly forget until they are taught the same lesson again.  It was not the sermon; it was a simple conversation with people in the choir. I felt like it was God speaking to me though.

When Taylor was born, he was not breathing and he did not have a heartbeat.  His Apgar score was a 0.  For all intents and purposes, Taylor was dead.  However, he was revived, spent a long time in the hospital after I went home ~ well, I was discharged and went right back to the nursery where Taylor was ~, and recovered.  The doctors told us at one point to say goodbye and yet he made it.  Prayers surrounded him and he lived.  He has thrived.  God took care of him.

When Taylor was about seven, he had a lump in his neck.  The doctor ran tests. While I was sitting at my desk one day, the doctor called to tell me that he thought that Taylor had leukemia.  "If we get really lucky, it's a bad infection of his lymph nodes, but we need to discuss treatment options right now if it's not." To say that I was terrified is an understatement.  The only prayer I could even say was PLEASE.  I sobbed.  I finally called family and started them praying. It was an infection. God took care of Taylor.

Taylor is enlisting, and I am terrified.  I am terrified that he will be hurt, that he will move far away, that he will need me and I won't be there for him.  God has already proven to me that He will protect Taylor. I have to trust Him. If you think I made a lot out of a conversation that wasn't even directed at me, that perhaps it wasn't God the Almighty speaking to me to calm me, the sermon tonight was on following God's will.  We dampen the spirit of God by not following his will. See, God knows that sometimes I need to hear things a few times to get the point.  I am listening though.  God is in control, and Taylor will be fine.