Monday, May 23, 2011

Couple Dating Without Coupling??

Every married couple should spend quality alone time.  This is completely true.  You need to date each other.  You need to dress up and go to dinner without the kids, without the dog, without asking him if he remembered to pay the gas bill.... When you spend day in and day out being mom and dad as well as hard working employees, it is hard to remember to be the person your other half fell madly in love with in the first place.    You are sitting across from the person that can answer the questions about the doctor's appointment, the car payment, the insurance policy.  You would never discuss these things when you were first dating.  Date night is not the place to discuss them now.  Date night is about remembering who you fell in love with...

I'll let you in on a little secret though... Sometimes it is easy to remember who you were and who your spouse was when there are other people to interact with.  You see your hubby laugh or he reachs for your hand as he tells a funny story about a trip you took and BAM!  There's that spark again! This is what you want! This is what date night needs to be from time to time... definitely not all the time though.  Spend time alone too!

Finding a compatible couple to date is hard when you are married.  Either you can easily banter for hours with the wife but your hubby has absolutely nothing to say to your new found friend's husband or vice versa. We've all been there.  Couples date other couples trying to find the right combination and someone always ends up settling for a less than perfect fit, because it is really hard to find two totally compatible people who mesh well with you.  It's important to keep looking though.

Yesterday, two of my married friends asked if I would consider being half of their couple date couple.  Ummmm... I am not married, so I was a little unsure of where this was going. They have found the perfect solution though.  Brandi and I are great friends; her husband and I have a lot in common and I consider him a good friend as well. We all three mesh well, have a lot in common, and enjoy each other's company. Another single male in the church also gets along great with both of them and with me. We would make the perfect foursome as long as we are not required to date each other. I have been married; I do not want to go back down that road.  He has been married and is still very much in the healing stages while trying to raise three young children on his own. Hallmark would have us falling for each other...  I think we'll stick to dinner and game nights though.

Isn't it great when you can fix the problem simply by tweaking the boundaries?

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