When I was about seven years old, I fell in love with history. I wouldn't become a history teacher for another 25 years, but I fell in love young with the stories of this great country of ours. Specifically, I discovered Abigail Adams that summer. I read every book our library had on her. There was no internet then, so I read and read and read. Here was this spunky, intelligent woman who spoke her mind, loved her husband dearly, defended her child against bear attacks while sewing her own clothes. I wanted to BE HER! The fascination continues. My first Kindle purchase was a compilation of letters between Abigail and her beloved John. I love that she is his equal. She reminds him to "remember the ladies" while he is drafting the foundation of our great country. He responds by calling her "saucy". They are still the couple I want to be.
Of course, if you know me, you know that I also fell in love with Theodore Roosevelt long before he was the president Robin Williams brought to life in movies. He also loved deeply. The cowboy image he is known for came about only after his wife died in childbirth. He fled to the west to become a rancher. He needed that much space to mourn. He was awful at farming. People mocked him. He became an icon. Teddy Roosevelt took every single life experience he had and used it in the next chapter to make the world a better place. Plus, he rode a moose...I Want to BE HIM too...
I understand that history is a story and that it happens every single day. I want to be a part of the stories past too. I look at the famous photograph by Dorthea Lange of the Migrant Mother desperate in the migrant camp surrounded by her young children and I want to help her. I want to sit down with her, rock the baby in her arms, and tell her it gets better. I want to work beside Rosie the Riveter making planes during WWII. I would love to be a flapper hanging out in a speakeasy scandalize nag the world by showing a little ankle. Let's go save the Lindbergh baby and Sacco & Vanzetti while we're at it! I want to broker peace between Hamilton and Burr before Hamilton dies in that fateful duel. I even want to go tell Monica Lewinski that it's a bad idea to date her married boss and while we are at it, let's tell Gary Hart to not go for a ride on the Monkey Business. History is real to me! I LOVE IT!
However, I don't want to teach my beloved subject anymore. Yes, I read books about it for fun. Yes, I love the stories behind those dusty old documents. I get why the History Channel is a success and why every single miniseries they offer is a blockbuster... I even know where the term blockbuster comes from... I don't want to teach this subject anymore though. You see, US History in my state has a end-of-course exam that counts 20% of the student's final average for the year. The state failure rate hovers around 50% for the 8th year. Teachers have complained and the prevailing thought is that the teachers haven't figured out how to teach it yet. Try something different and you will get a different result. Don't complain unless you are doing different things. I have taught it slowly and in depth. Students fail. I have taught it quickly and with tons of review. Students fail. I hVe given notes, done graphic organizers, shown video clips, had students research, done sketching activities, had them dress up as historical figures... Students fail. Teachers become frustrated and hand it over to new teachers hoping there is some new method that will unlock this test. I simply cannot continue to pour my heart into teaching this subject year after year only to have students perform poorly without feeling that I have failed them. I don't want to do this anymore. I LOVE HISTORY..... I LOVE MY STUDENTS MORE....
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