Life is about Relationships....Not Achievements.

Today is the first day of the new school year for teachers. I have already learned something important. Last night, I spent a few hours helping the middle child of one of my best friends with her summer reading assignments.  It's one of those jobs that comes with long term friendships that you aren't sure why you are doing it, except that of course, you are doing it.

Lindsay had to read three American Literature classics to complete the assignment. She chose The Old Man and the Sea (I love this book; she hated it), Of Mice and Men (of course she loved it... it's Steinbeck), and The Joy Luck Club (I didn't say it was a classic but her teacher did, so hey..). She completed her assignments and I went over to help her tweak them, to refine them, to polish them up a little. Lindsay has often lived in the shadow of her more driven sister.  She is quieter, less inclined to demand attention. It's easy to assume she is not as intelligent as the older sister.  You would be wrong.

Lindsay had to write journal entries based on a character's point of view for each novel. When I read them, I was surprised to find that she had focused on relationships in a subtle way as she explored each book.  Ask me what Hemmingway's masterpiece is about and I will tell you it is about chasing a dream, fighting for it, and losing it. Steinbeck's tome is tragic but the connecting theme is that dream ranch that Lennie and George both idealize. Tan is showcasing how the moms want the success and lives they were never able to have. My focus is on the achievement.  Lindsay saw the people - the boy and Santiago, even Santiago and the fish... Lennie and George , of course.. but also the ranch hands as a whole... the mothers and daughters of every generation... The books are about relationships, about taking care of the people you are surrounded by.  I, in my misguided Type-A brain, had only seen the striving for achievement. I was wrong.

Today, I begin my school year with a changed focus.  It is not about achievement; Life is about relationships. Not how can I insure that I will have the best test scores, but how can I help my co-workers and my students. I'll be a better teacher for it, a better person, a better friend. Thanks Lindsay for the life lesson!

Couple Dating Without Coupling??

Every married couple should spend quality alone time.  This is completely true.  You need to date each other.  You need to dress up and go to dinner without the kids, without the dog, without asking him if he remembered to pay the gas bill.... When you spend day in and day out being mom and dad as well as hard working employees, it is hard to remember to be the person your other half fell madly in love with in the first place.    You are sitting across from the person that can answer the questions about the doctor's appointment, the car payment, the insurance policy.  You would never discuss these things when you were first dating.  Date night is not the place to discuss them now.  Date night is about remembering who you fell in love with...

I'll let you in on a little secret though... Sometimes it is easy to remember who you were and who your spouse was when there are other people to interact with.  You see your hubby laugh or he reachs for your hand as he tells a funny story about a trip you took and BAM!  There's that spark again! This is what you want! This is what date night needs to be from time to time... definitely not all the time though.  Spend time alone too!

Finding a compatible couple to date is hard when you are married.  Either you can easily banter for hours with the wife but your hubby has absolutely nothing to say to your new found friend's husband or vice versa. We've all been there.  Couples date other couples trying to find the right combination and someone always ends up settling for a less than perfect fit, because it is really hard to find two totally compatible people who mesh well with you.  It's important to keep looking though.

Yesterday, two of my married friends asked if I would consider being half of their couple date couple.  Ummmm... I am not married, so I was a little unsure of where this was going. They have found the perfect solution though.  Brandi and I are great friends; her husband and I have a lot in common and I consider him a good friend as well. We all three mesh well, have a lot in common, and enjoy each other's company. Another single male in the church also gets along great with both of them and with me. We would make the perfect foursome as long as we are not required to date each other. I have been married; I do not want to go back down that road.  He has been married and is still very much in the healing stages while trying to raise three young children on his own. Hallmark would have us falling for each other...  I think we'll stick to dinner and game nights though.

Isn't it great when you can fix the problem simply by tweaking the boundaries?

Love You Like A Sister.... Well, Maybe Not...

My mom's sister died last night.  My mother was in the room along with my aunt's youngest son when she passed. I had visited a few hours prior to check on my mom and say goodbye to my favorite aunt.  As I watched my strong beautiful mother gently brush back the hair from her sister's face, I was reminded of how I always used to sign the notes I wrote to my friends in junior high with LYLAS (love you like a sister).  The closing was meant to convey how close the friendship was, but .... is there anyone that shares the bond that sisters do?

I am the youngest of four; my sister is the oldest.  Personality theorists would say that birth order is what defines our relationship.  They would be wrong. My sister was my first role model.  I wanted to be exactly like her. Lynn was beautiful and cool and amazing.  To her, I was a brat.  Because there were two boys and two girls in my family, we had to share a room.  She became a teenager when I was 6.  She would lock me out of the room and only allow me in to sleep. The movies would have portrayed that I resented this; I didn't. It made me imagine all sorts of adventures that she must be planning on the other side of the door. I read her magazines; I read her books.  I wanted to be the cool teenager that she was; she ignored me.  As the youngest child, I spoke baby talk when I started school.  Lynn promptly told all her friends I was mentally challenged. No one ridiculed me because there was a rule against mocking a disabled child.  She also told them that I was adopted.... At night though, in the darkness, she would talk quietly to me.  She would ask me about my day.  She would let me creep into her bed to sleep when the scary movie she had  finally let me watch proved to be too scary for my little six year old mind. I knew she loved me.

Lynn married her high school sweetheart when I was 12. I sobbed throughout the entire ceremony.  Not graceful tears that leaked from my eyes... Big gulping sobs.  My sister was leaving me. She didn't though.  Lynn would pick me up for sleepovers, send me encouragement cards in the mail, and let me wear makeup. I knew she missed me too.

Lynn and I have taken vacations together with our children, camped together, shopped together, gossiped together.  We have had screaming matches and not spoken for weeks.  We have inside jokes and call each other whenever one of us has a secret that we cannot share with anyone else on this earth.  We are each others worst critics and fiercest protectors. We laugh and laugh and laugh over stupid stuff. She can make me cry quicker than anyone. She is the other half of me.

My mother will bury her sister this week.  My heart hurts for her. I don't even want to imagine losing my forever friend.  Friendships end; sisterhood doesn't.

My sister, oldest brother, and me yesterday..

Let Me Save You $25

If you ever find yourself asking why you are paying to do something, don't do it.  I wish I had taken this advice.  Today, I paid $25 to sit in a class with two of my best friends to make chocolate Easter baskets.  While I enjoyed laughing with my friends, when we left, we were all asking why we had to pay for the class.  The instructor provided absolutely no materials save from handing out a plastic cutting board to roll chocolate on.  She provided no great expertise other than to say make your strands this length.  When problems arose, she said this or that could be the problem, but she offered no solution.  Donna left without a finished product. I left with a basket that looks like small child created it at daycamp.  Patsy, of course, created a beautiful basket that looks exactly like the brochure said it would look.  Let me save you $25.
Here is exactly how to make a chocolate Easter basket.  I found the instructions online for FREE @ http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/White-Chocolate-Easter-Basket. If you run into an issue, I'll be glad to offer advice.  I hope you create a basket that matches Patsy's...

Steps one and two are done together because you are creating the base.  We did this part Tuesday night at Patsy's house.

Step One is to create your basket base.  This is really simple.  You will need a 6 inch pan according to the class I took, but the website says you can also use a 1 1/2 quart bowl to create your base.  Regardless of which you use, you simply melt 20 oz of candy coating, mix in 2/3 cup of corn syrup over low heat and pour it in to create the base.

Step Two must be done quickly so the base doesn't completely set up before you do it. Using the same melted candy coating that you will pour as your base, coat 13 three inch pretzel sticks or 13 sucker sticks to serve as supports for the basket sides. Let them cool and then, insert them around the edges of the pan/bowl you poured your basket base mixture into. Stick in the freezer for about 30 minutes until it is firm. When you remove it, your base should look like the picture above. Mine staretd off beautiful and smooth. I had such high hopes....

Step Three was also done at home and is fairly simple. Using the same chocolate clay mixture of melted chocolate and corn syrup, you will create eight 1 inch balls of clay.  I used different colors for my basket; Patsy used green and Donna chose yellow.  Get creative!

 Step Four is to simply roll out the balls of chocolate clay into 1/4 inch ropes.  

Step Five involves weaving the ropes through the support sticks.

Alternate directions every time your begin a new rope.

 Continue to layer until you reach the top.  Leave a little room for the top braided rope.

Braid two (according to the instructor) or three (website) ropes of clay together to create a finished braid. Add to top of basket around all support sticks. The website says to add a small dot of melted clay on each stick to act as a glue. Great idea...

 Voila!  You have a finished basket....  Patsy's is the beautiful green one... while this is mine...  Donna's went home to try again another day since our instructor was of no assistance at all.  The website even explains how to do a handle because all baskets need a handle but we didn't have that option in our money-wasting class. I hope you will give this a try. I think it is a really wonderful idea.  I'm am not sure though why I paid money to someone who did nothing and provided no supplies or help.  You do not have to though!  Go have fun with it!

Spring Break Has Arrived!

Spring Break.  The words alone make me smile.  As a college student, the words conjure up images of beach trips, wild parties, bikini-clad girls and buff beach guys.  All that youth trying to live life to the fullest. I am not that college kid though.  Spring break means a time to relax, catch up with friends, and sleep. The break recharges me so I can live life to the fullest.  Same idea, different strategies. I'm older now.  I know that life is not a sprint; it's a marathon.

My plans for Spring Break are incredibly simply. I plan to sleep late and take naps.  I constantly say that I am tired.  This is the week that I can catch up on sleep. I plan to read.  I love to read, and although I must read 93 APUSH essays sometime during the next week, I also plan to read magazine articles, novels, juicy details.... I want to travel to places far far away in my mind through the pages of the books. I want to read other people's thoughts, to live their lives for a brief time, to explore.  There is something magical about reading. I plan to catch up with friends.  Reading is magical, but so is laughter shared with friends.  I want to laugh and laugh and laugh.

Let the college kids party and bake their bodies in the sun. I want to savor the parts of life I love.... and sleep a lot. Then, I want to count down the days until summer...

Finding The Good....

Some days are just rough.  This was definitely one of them. I am determined to find the good though.

Today was the day of my practice AP exam.  Students arrive at school early to take the three and a half hour test which means that I needed to arrive even earlier.  I was at school, in my room, by 6:45 a.m. rushing around to finalize all the things that needed to be finished before students arrived. Because it was so early, I could not stop by The Huddle, my favorite place to grab a morning biscuit and glass of tea.  I ran through McDonalds' drivethru.  However, my chicken biscuit hit the floorboard when my purse tipped over.  No biscuit for me this morning.  Not a good start... I didn't need those calories anyway.

The students walked in, sat down, and began working.  With less than two minutes left to go during the multiple choice portion of the test, a student asked to go to the nurse stating that she felt faint.  The nurse diagnosed the attack as stress-related.  The girl returned in tears.  Yep, going to be one of those days... Isn't it great that I have students who care so much about their grades that they feel faint over their performance on the practice test though?

The students are given a short break between the multiple choice section and the essay portion.  I provide snacks for them.  I have a tendency to feed my students.  Today, after I arrived and set up the class, I remembered that at least two of my students had given up sugar for Lent.  Most of the snacks I had bought contained sugar.  Off I went to find Brad, keeper of the canteen, to buy sugar-free snacks. I didn't mind this.  It means I have students honoring God. That's worth a few extra snacks.

The exam ends.  I take a short break myself during first lunch only to hear that the auditor has pulled one of my receipt books.  Student Council constantly writes receipts for the gazillion events we host.  Since they are teenagers, the students do not always fill the receipts out completely which I have reminded them about several times... Now the auditor has pulled a book to review.  Luckily, he has only a few minor complaints and Megan, the bookkeeper, has handled those.  Isn't it great to have wonderful co-workers?

I am helping the co-worker of Patsy, one of my close friends, tweak her National Boards entries. ~ Hi Heather!  I know you are reading this. :) ~ Her lesson was so cool, but the write-up needed a little polishing.  She took her students on an on-site field trip to explore the effect of temperature of changing states of matter (why snow does and does not melt).  They are in kindergarten and already doing hands-on science experiements.  Cool, cool, cool! I worked on it all during my planning period and then for some reason simply closed it.  Gone.  Lost.  Wiped away...  Seven pages of work vanished. Ummmm.... Really? The good in this is that I was even asked to look over her entries and I was so impressed with her science lesson.  I did it all again and it looks good.  :) PLUS, I reminded myself to always, always, always save my work...

After school, Student Council had a meeting for students who are willing to run for the Student Body officer slots next year.  Only two students came.  It is an extreme amount of work, and I am not the advisor next year.  The good?  The two that were there are simply amazing.

I left school at 4:45 pm. 10 hour day... I ran to let my parents' dogs out since my dad was having a heart cath today only to discover that both locks were locked and I only had a key to the deadbolt.  I pulled out my phone to call my mom only to find that my phone was dead...  This day is like a bad comedy by now..  I head to my house, plug the phone into the charger, and call my mom at the hospital.  She is not happy but she tells me to check if the back door key is on the key ring.  It was!!! The other good thing is that my sister who hates dogs was there earlier to let the dogs out... even if she did lock me out by locking both locks.  Now she knows better though.  Yay for sharing the doggie duties!

Headed to meet Patsy for dinner.  I am late by now, of course.  Dinner was great!  Patsy let me vent and laugh all the way to Greenville.  She truly is amazing. Her hubby, Ken, wouldn't let me pay for my dinner. Double Yay!!  I have wonderful friends!

Stopped back by my parents and arrived at the same time that my parents drove up.  Yay that my dad came home today!

Finished tweaking Heather's entry a second time.  Saved it this time. Lesson learned. I realized that I forgot  to finish making the test for my CP class tomorrow morning.  That is the good the students may find in this day tomorrow.... unless I get up early again tomorrow.... 

It's been a long day, but great things happened all day among the craziness.  I'll focus on that, but just in case.... How many days to Spring Break again???

Talk To The Hand

I'm not sure where the phrase "Talk to the Hand" began, but very few conversations that I engage in end without some part of the conversation being conveyed by my hands.  You cannot talk to me without talking to my hands too.  I would be willing to say that the vast majority of you reading this blog use hand gestures in some way, shape, or form to get your point across as well. Our hands speak volumes.

When I was videoed teaching as part of my quest to obtain National certification, I realized just how much I spoke with my hands.  I knew that I made motions. However, I did not realize that there were patterns to the movements.  When I present material, I move my hands in a rolling motion outward.  Take your hand turned palm inward.  Now turn it in a cricle like you are rolling out something away from your body.  In every single video, this is what I did with my hands while lecturing. I suppose I was rolling out information.  Interestingly when I asked questions, I started with my hand further away from my body and rolled it back in to my body.  I wanted them to bring the information back to me. I also moved my hands about to simulate movement, jumping, making connections and the like throughout the lessons. I was acting out certain portions to get my point across without realizing it.  My hands help me teach daily.

Saturday afternoon while Taylor was mowing the lawn, I had a conversation with a friend of mine. We disagreed on a few items, and after a few minutes of discussion, he left.  Taylor turned off the mower to ask what the argument had been.  I asked why he thought there had been any discord.  He replied "I didn't need to hear you to know what you were saying.  You always argue with your hands." He went on to demonstrate and explain a few of my motions which made me laugh.  They were completely accurate.  I want to go on the record though.  I was not using my middle finger.  I'm not even sure why that finger is any more offensive than the index finger, ring finger, or pinkie.  It is though and I do not use it in anger. The two gestures that clued Taylor into the fact that my friend and I were disagreeing were simple.  First, I took my hand placed it about level with my head and chopped the air.  Moved down a little further, chopped the air. Repeat motion a few more times and you realize that I am creating an angry timeline in the air. Taylor said that while he didn't know what the issue in question was but apparently it had been going on a while because I felt the need to list every incident.  Ummm...  Good call.  While the timeline may be a hand gesture personal to me, the second motion is definitely not. Put both hands out to your sides, arms fully extended.  Palms facing out.  This is a question which may or may not be accompanied by a spoken question.  In anger, people have a tendency to move their upper body slightly into the space between the arms.  Recognize it?  Yep... We all do this one. Taylor is perceptive.  He really needs to think about choosing intelligence as his job in the Marines.

Of course, I am not the only person to use hand gestures. Think of all the universal movements out there of which we all know the meaning; the ones that help us throughout our life from the time we are small kids placing one finger over our lips to ask our friend not to give our location away in a game of hide and go seek. Stop - hand up, palm facing out.  Call me - hand closed with pinky and thumb extended held toward your ear.  I love you - arms crossed over your chest followed by extended index finger pointed at the loved person. You can build an entire relationship based on the movement of your hands.

A friend wants to introduce you to a single friend who is nearby. They say the guy's name and then, bending his arm at the elbow motions the prospective date over with his hand moving in a waving motion.  No need to shout "Hey Buddy, Come over here where I am"; the hand gesture works. The guy walks over.  The host introduces you by moving his open palmed hand to you and then to the single man.  You shake hands. There is lots of communication going on during this exchange that is unspoken.  Psychologists can prattle on and on about why it is important to make the exchange with open palms to show welcome and openness.  You don't need the jargon behind it to understand that this open palm is much more appealing that someone introducing you to some one using a closed fist or a pointing index finger or dare we say, the middle finger. The handshake is important too.  In my Leadership class, we do an entire lesson on how to properly shake hands (not to hard or soft, not to long or short).  How many times have you shook the limp fish hand of someone at a social gathering and immediately disliked that person?  Same holds true for having your hand crushed by someone and wondering what their issue was.  What your hands say matters.

Of course, parents use nonverbal hand communication to discipline children all the time.  I'm not talking about spanking; I mean the point and look.  Your child is across the room from you goofing off, doing something dangerous, chewing with their mouth open, whatever.  You make eye contact with them, put two fingers to your eyes and then, turn the same two fingers toward them. The child immediately stops the offensive action. You have spoken and perhaps even let them know what the punishment is without saying a word. Your hands have said it all. Of course, if you have not actually parented your child, the point and look will mean nothing just like the international phone gesture will mean nothing to a third world resident who has never seen a phone.  There has to be context.

I could go on and on.  There are literally tens of thousands of hand gestures to show joy, praise, excitement, loss, despair, love, hatred, shyness, openness. I will let you ponder your favorite hand phrases for awhile though..... What are your hands saying today?

The Drive

Yesterday, I awoke when the alarm went off at 6 a.m. as I do most school mornings, got dressed for work, and woke Taylor up. This is all pretty typical of a Monday morning in my household.  Yesterday, however, I drove Taylor to Anderson to start the MEPS portion of his enlistment instead of the two of us heading to our respective schools. We got lost because the recruiter had not given me a specific landmark, but we found it and Taylor was a minute late.  He hates to be late.  I went home, finished making a test, ran errands, went to school late, and taught half a day. Then, I interviewed rising juniors who want to take the Teacher  Cadets class nex year.  I left school around 5:30 not to head home but to the school board meeting where the board was deciding on position elimination before 500 or so district employees. When I sat down in my seat at the board meeting, it was 6 pm and I was exhausted. I had spent the last 12 hours constantly going - all while worrying about Taylor which wears on a body too. We were at the board meeting 2 hours before it became clear Donna needed to go. Donna, one of my closest friends, received a series of calls from her daughter who attends College of Charleston. Lauren was sick and needed to come home.  She wasn't getting better even though she had been in the infirmary getting fluids and medications a few times already.  Donna decided to drive to Charleston and back to get her sick child. Despite being bone weary from my day, I was going with her. She is my friend; she needed someone to keep her awake. How could I not go?

We left Easley at 9 pm. Taylor jokes that I hate to even leave the house after dark and try to be in my pajamas by 6.  Both statements are true.  Lauren needed to come home though so I ran home to change clothes to put on comfortable clothing that would look appropriate if I had to spend hours in an emergercy room in Charleston. Off we went. The first 3 and half hours down weren't that bad.  Donna and I have been friends since junior high. We can ride in comfortable silence; neither feels the need to rush to fill the gaps with words.  Last night, we were both exhausted and needed the words to act as a reason to stay awake. We talked about work.  We talked about the board meeting.  We chatted about this blog (which she does not read...). We talked in the way friends with history can. We arrived safely.

Lauren looks horrible.  This is not an overstatement.  Calling her elephant man would be an overstatement, but only slightly... Her face is swollen to the point where she can barely speak.  The area beneath her eyes has not simple bags, but huge jumbo pillows that almost totally eclipse her eyes. She had been vomiting for hours; she is dehydrated. Lauren climbed into the back seat of the car and went to sleep. Her mom was there; she was safe. We started home.

I was a little jealous at that moment. Taylor is enlisting, and though he will undoubtedly fall ill at some point during his service, I will not be allowed to drive to him to make it all better. I will cover in him in prayer, as I ask you all to do. His Heavenly Father will watch over him and keep him safe, but as a mom, I want to be able to get to him when he is sick like Donna did for Lauren. Taylor is called to serve, and in God's will is the safest place he can be. I know this. He does not need me to rescue him, but as his mom, I still want to be able to do so.

The trip home seemed remarkably long.  No one over the age of 40 needs to start a four hour drive after midnight. We talked and talked and talked. Not to communicate, but to force our brains to stay awake. My eyes wanted to close so badly but I managed to keep them open. Donna and I laughed over stupid things not because they were hilarious, but because we were exhausted. 22 hours after my alarm beeped to start the day, I arrived home. I would do it again. Any good friend would.

That's What Friends Are For...

Taylor is at MEPS, the physical and testing portion of enlistment.  He will be standing around in his boxers tomorrow being poked and prodded to see if he meets the qualifications necessary to be a Marine.  We had a comical conversation about the appropriateness of his boxers last night.  Today's youth wear colorful designs on their shorts, no plain colors or stripes in his wardrobe.  He will catch flax about this tomorrow I am sure...  Choices get you every time.

I am also headed out.  The daughter of one of my best friend's is in school at College of Charleston and she is sick sick sick. She has already been to the infirmary and isn't getting better.  She needs to be home in her own bed, under the care of her own doctors (and her mom). We are headed to Charleston to pick her up. Every mom reading this understands why Donna is going.  Why am I?  Simple...  That's what friends are for.

If You Are Happy And You Know It Clap Your Hands

Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.  You get the point.  I am happy today. Joyful.  Giddy. Content. Whatever word you want to use to describe my mood. I'm in a good mood. It has truly been a wonderful day for many reasons and for absolutely no reason at all.  Days like today are gifts that help us make through the not-so-great-days. I am thankful for the gift of today.

I started my day off by observing one of my favorite school year traditions.  I met G for breakfast.  We meet every Friday to catch up, chat, vent, and kick start our Friday.  We have been working together for six years now, and our Friday breakfasts never fail to start my day off right. The breakfasts feed my spirit as well as my body.

Today was a special day in my AP classes.  It was the day that my students take their final reading quiz of the year; they have finished reading the entire textbook cover-to-cover.  They were proud; they were tired. They brought food - doughnuts, chips, fresh fruit, soda. It was a day of celebration. They accomplished their first goal.  Now, we begin reviewing for their AP exam.  Students who receive passing scores on the exam receive college credit. They are prepared or they will be by May 6th..

Next, I had Student Council.  If you have read this blog before, you know that I love Student Council and that I love them more on days they are productive.  Today, things were marked off the list. The presentation of robes ceremony is coming together.  The senior slideshow is coming together.  Powderpuff is coming together.  I even had time to practice my narration for the Easter Contata which is all about God's love.  Just repeating the words celebrating Jesus' gift to us makes me smile.  God is so good!

During planning, I had a short visit with a friend, watched a video off the Crazy Love website reminding us how amazing God is, planned Monday's lesson, and worked on Tuesday's test.  I was productive while feeding my soul.

After work, I stopped by the bank to set up a savings account just for Paris.  Yes, I am actually going in a couple of years.  I need to do that for myself. I don't need to win the lottery to do it though.

I also stopped by Wingard Jewelers to look at rings.  My house was robbed in September and they took everything of value from the house.  We have been blessed to replace the things that needed replacing.  However, my jewelry was stolen.  This bothers me for many reasons, but the one that keeps resonating with me is that I no longer have a ring to pass down to my grandchildren.  I had always planned on giving Taylor the engagement ring that his dad gave me.  It was a beautiful carat solitaire with a sapphire wrap around it, but someone else has it now. Someone who doesn't deserve it or understand that it was given in love. However, I have decided to not let the thieves steal the idea of an heirloom for future generations from me.  I want to buy a statement ring to pass down.  Wingards is having a fantastic sale.  All rings are half off and they offer layaway.  I found a ring.  I didn't buy it.... yet. It's being held for the next week while I think it over. I like to ponder purchases for awhile... It's a cluster ring, so it's not nearly as valuable as the solitaire that was stolen.  It is beautiful though. I can see myself passing it down after wearing it for the next 50 years.  I might just have to buy it...

It's been a wonderful day.  I am happy.  The future doesn't look as scary as it did when I started this blog. I can actually see a future; that's definitely a step in the right direction.  Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.

Cel-e-brate Good Times... Come On! Let's Celebrate...

It rained today. Not a huge detail, except when you are hosting a cookout at your house for your son's birthday to which about forty people are invited.  It was wonderful though despite the rain. People are what make celebrations great, not the details. Surround yourself with amazing people.

This is Taylor, Scotty, and Lucas who are being great sports and playing with the military-themed party decorations I bought.  The items might have been too young for them, but it is the people, not the details that make the fun... Both of these guys have been amazing friends to Taylor through the years.

  

It rained, so the cookout became a cook -in.  My brother-in-law is amazing and he actually cooked the hamburgers and hot dogs under his carport before transporting them over to our house. If you look closely, those are soccer chairs that the guys are sitting in...  This group is wonderful though; that's what really matters.  

This is Taylor's cake that his godmother, Pam, made for him.  She is one of those amazingly talented people who can make cakes like this.  The top layer was an entirely separate cake.  The number 18 was also displayed on each side of the cake. Delicious!

We forgot candles, and by the time we remembered, there were so many cars blocking the drive that we needed to improvise.  Yes, his candles were matches.  I'm betting the wish still counts.

 

Rain also presented problems getting to the house without getting soaked. The kids figured it out though... Jared had on rain shoes; Kathryn did not.  Most of the friends present were ones that Taylor had met in preschool or elementary school.  He met Jared and Kathryn volunteering at Salvation Army though.  The three clicked and became fast friends. 

Speaking of fast friends, this is G playing with my great-niece, Wrenn. G and I met 6 years ago when we began teaching at the same school. She became part of the family after opening her home to my entire family during an ice storm.  My niece was getting married and everyone was without power, except G.  She rescued the day, and joined our family.

G gets the last picture because she put it all into perspective this afternoon after the party.  I said it was a great party except for the cookout being inside, my nephew getting his car stuck in the mud, and Taylor's dad arriving late.  She responded... there was still food and laughter, he got his car out, and his dad was there.  he's exactly right.  Stay focused on the positives! Happy Birthday Taylor.  It has been a great day!

Why Is It So Hard To Believe That Guys and Girls Can Be Just Friends?

When Harry Met Sally dealt with the question way back in the 80s. Harry said it was impossible for a man and woman to simply be friends while Sally disagreed with every ounce of her little feminist self.  Of course, in the end, the Hollywood standard prevailed, and Harry fell for Sally and she fell right back.  But let's pick the question back up...  I have friends ~ strong, life long friends and relatively new friends ~ that are guys and there is not a lick of attraction there.  I love spending time with them.  We have brilliant conversations and fun adventures, but I don't feel anything romantic for them. However, people respond to our friendship as if it is a precursor to a romantic relationship, not a valued platonic bond.  So, let me ask you, my friends, why is it so hard to believe that men and women can be just friends?

The mindset seems to be that if you see a man and woman out to dinner or going to a movie that they are a couple. Why? If I go to dinner with a girlfriend, no one suggests that maybe I should date her.  If I say I am going to the beach for the weekend with my best girl pal, no one thinks it is a romantic getaway.  There's a little bit of a double standard there. Of course, there's also the truth that many of the best relationships begin with two people who are friends hanging out and then suddenly realize that their best friend was the perfect match all along... at least in Hollywood movies.  What chick flick ends with the guy and girl being friends unless the guy or girl is gay?  Even Seinfeld muddied the water of Elaine and Jerry's friendship by having them sleep together denying the truth that you cannot be just friends and share a bed.  If you are just friends, then be just friends.

Why is this my topic for today? First, I am guilty of doing one thing and then, thinking everyone else is doing another.  I am chaperoning 8 amazing Student Council kids at the State Conference.  They are all just friends.  The other chaperone is a co-worker who is a great male friend.  We are just friends. Earlier, my co-advisor and I were checking out possibles things to do tomorrow before the conference kicks off, and a lady walked by.  She suggested that we do a carriage tour which I had just mentioned.  "See?", I said... The lady said "Listen to her.."...  It wasn't what she said, but HOW she said it...  It was like he should listen to me because we were a couple. It was odd... She wouldn't have said it that way if we had been two men or two women.  Why are we a couple simply because we are members of the opposite sex?

I am guilty of the same mindset at times though.. I'll admit it...  I told the students that the girls couldn't be in the guys rooms and vice versa. Really? they asked...  Really, I said.. and then, I thought.. What are you doing?  I teach these kids.  Two of them I have every single day.  They are friends..  nothing more..  so why did I just treat them like they were a couple simply because they are members of the opposite sex? My walk didn't match my talk...  I hate when that happens, when I rail against other people doing something that I turn around and do myself.  I need to work on that...

I'm going to do just that starting tomorrow.  We are going to enjoy the sights and conference.  All ten of us, irregardless of what our genders are. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Harry was wrong...  Men and women can be just friends!