You Have To Know The Right Words To Make It Better...

What are you afraid of? Snakes? Spiders? Speaking in public? I'm not afraid of any of those. I am afraid of failure. I am heart-racing, palm-sweating, shaking in my boots afraid of failure. I am afraid that I will not measure up, that I will be found to not be good enough, that someone will think I am dumb...Yesterday, I was in tears over it.

I made a bad grade in one of my doctorate classes.  I would normally offer excuses here. However, I have recently finished an article about how when successful people fail they make excuses and thus, do not learn from their mistakes.  So, no excuses.  I made a bad grade because I did not read all my materials. It was completely my fault.  I based my paper off the question asked and did not go to the supplemental material where the details required to answer the question were all spelled out. I have submitted four assignments like this which means I have three more bad grades coming. I cried.

I went to my sister's house to cry on her shoulder and she told me to get a tutor. I don't think doctorate students are supposed to need tutors, I said... She told me to take a break for a few days.  I don't have a few days; I have so much work to do... Maybe this is not my path... I continued to cry. My brother-in-law came in from work, looked at me in tears, and asked what was wrong.  I told him I made a bad grade, that I didn't think I could do this. He is a man of few words. He doesn't wax poetically and go on and on about things.  He simply said "Yeah. You can. You're the smartest person I know." With that, he left the room. That was all it took. I felt better because one person said the magical words.  He didn't hem and haw and try to think of a gazillion things to say.  He simply said that I could do this with such certainty that I believed him. He had the exact words I needed to hear.  Sometimes that is all we need.

Let Me Save You $25

If you ever find yourself asking why you are paying to do something, don't do it.  I wish I had taken this advice.  Today, I paid $25 to sit in a class with two of my best friends to make chocolate Easter baskets.  While I enjoyed laughing with my friends, when we left, we were all asking why we had to pay for the class.  The instructor provided absolutely no materials save from handing out a plastic cutting board to roll chocolate on.  She provided no great expertise other than to say make your strands this length.  When problems arose, she said this or that could be the problem, but she offered no solution.  Donna left without a finished product. I left with a basket that looks like small child created it at daycamp.  Patsy, of course, created a beautiful basket that looks exactly like the brochure said it would look.  Let me save you $25.
Here is exactly how to make a chocolate Easter basket.  I found the instructions online for FREE @ http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/White-Chocolate-Easter-Basket. If you run into an issue, I'll be glad to offer advice.  I hope you create a basket that matches Patsy's...

Steps one and two are done together because you are creating the base.  We did this part Tuesday night at Patsy's house.

Step One is to create your basket base.  This is really simple.  You will need a 6 inch pan according to the class I took, but the website says you can also use a 1 1/2 quart bowl to create your base.  Regardless of which you use, you simply melt 20 oz of candy coating, mix in 2/3 cup of corn syrup over low heat and pour it in to create the base.

Step Two must be done quickly so the base doesn't completely set up before you do it. Using the same melted candy coating that you will pour as your base, coat 13 three inch pretzel sticks or 13 sucker sticks to serve as supports for the basket sides. Let them cool and then, insert them around the edges of the pan/bowl you poured your basket base mixture into. Stick in the freezer for about 30 minutes until it is firm. When you remove it, your base should look like the picture above. Mine staretd off beautiful and smooth. I had such high hopes....

Step Three was also done at home and is fairly simple. Using the same chocolate clay mixture of melted chocolate and corn syrup, you will create eight 1 inch balls of clay.  I used different colors for my basket; Patsy used green and Donna chose yellow.  Get creative!

 Step Four is to simply roll out the balls of chocolate clay into 1/4 inch ropes.  

Step Five involves weaving the ropes through the support sticks.

Alternate directions every time your begin a new rope.

 Continue to layer until you reach the top.  Leave a little room for the top braided rope.

Braid two (according to the instructor) or three (website) ropes of clay together to create a finished braid. Add to top of basket around all support sticks. The website says to add a small dot of melted clay on each stick to act as a glue. Great idea...

 Voila!  You have a finished basket....  Patsy's is the beautiful green one... while this is mine...  Donna's went home to try again another day since our instructor was of no assistance at all.  The website even explains how to do a handle because all baskets need a handle but we didn't have that option in our money-wasting class. I hope you will give this a try. I think it is a really wonderful idea.  I'm am not sure though why I paid money to someone who did nothing and provided no supplies or help.  You do not have to though!  Go have fun with it!

Forget The Joy... I Need The Basics Of Cooking..

Last year, I watched the movie Julie and Julia about a woman who blogs as she works her way through Julia Childs classic cookbook, The Joy of Cooking. The movie focuses on the modern-day woman and how she has this unknowing connection to Julia Child's life when she was writing the book. Julie blogs daily about the recipes she tries and discovers truths about herself along the way.  I can relate...  I discover things about myself every day as I sit down to write to you.

I share another connection to Julie as well... I know it is a little late in the game since my only child is leaving home, but I want to learn to cook... and bake from scratch... and dare I say it.... to grill. I can cook, of course.  Taylor has not grown into the tall strapping young man that he is based solely on a diet of Happy Meals and frozen pizza.  I fed him proper meals when he was younger ~ the staples of chicken, hamburger, steak, soups, and stews.  If asked, Taylor will tell you that my steak and smashed potatoes is his favorite meal.  I tried to sneak lima beans or corn into the equation, but as he has aged, the accompanying veggies were pushed to the side to linger until they are scraped into the trash later. I can make Taylor's favorite meals, though he is rarely home in the evenings for me to do so these days. I want more though. I want to learn how to truly meld flavors, reduce sauces, marinate meats until they are infused with deliciousness.  I want to cook something that I cannot wait to eat. Where do I start? Exactly where does a novice chef turn to figure our how to separate an egg and why it needs to be separated in the first place? Where do I even begin without taking on the sort of huge project seen in the movie?

As a shopper at heart, I think I need the stuff  first.  Tonight, my friends, Patsy and Donna, made the bases for candy Easter basket that will be woven with choclate strips to make beautiful edible baskets. Patsy provided all the stuff for me to make one as well so I can join them for the class on Saturday.  Patsy is a wonderful cook; she also has all the equipment to do about anything.  She has candy molds and an entire collection of differing sizes of glass measuring cups.  I have a single small aluminum measuring cup. Is it really any wonder who the better cook is here? The stuff matters.

Saturday, G, my niece, great-niece, and I went to dinner after taking prom pictures. We ate at a wonderful downtown restaurant (Smoke on the Water) where I enjoyed the loaded potato cake.  It was delicious and light and absolutely perfect.  I want to be able to cook well enough so I can eat something like that and know how to recreate it at home in my own kitchen. If you haven't been to Smoke on the Water, go.  They have wonderful lunch deals during the week; they have this amazing squash casserole too.  I'd like to make it as well.  I want to make food that I relish rather than eating soup from the pot so I don't need to wash an extra bowl. Anyone have a list of exactly which items a functioning kitchen for one should have to allow me to make delicious meals at home?  What do I need?

When Taylor leaves for basics, I plan to stay busy, to keep my mind occupied, to try not to become the weepy military mom that I fear I will be.  Maybe, just maybe that involves a cooking class and a shopping spree at a kitchen store.. I need to know the basics before I can tackle the Joy of Cooking. Sorry, Julia..