Praying Through

On Sundays, I normally write a recount of the preacher's sermon in my blog.  I planned to do that yesterday, but when I sat down to write it, I couldn't. There were too many connections to my life. Yesterday's sermon was based on 1 Samuel 1 where Hannah is so heartbroken over her inability to have a child that she goes to the temple and prays.  She prays with her face on the ground, totally given over to her prayer.  She prays so passionately that the priest thinks she must be drunk.  She prays silently, mouthing the words, feeling each word.  She prays like we should pray, but we rarely do. Her prayer was answered.  God gave her Samuel and she gave him right back to the Lord. It's a wonderful story. 

When I was a little girl, my mom had a big red medical dictionary with pictures that she kept on the bottom part of the side table (the tables that sit beside the couch and hold the lamp or they did in the 70's at least). I loved to read even back then, and if I had ran out of things to read, I would read this book.  The pictures were pretty gross for the most part; however, there was an entire section on the stages of childhood.  Each developmental stage had a picture - a rosy cheeked baby, a chubby kneed toodler, a curly haired five year old, etc. I named each of these children and made them mine.  I wanted at least ten kids.  I would lower that number to six by the time I was married, but I always wanted a ton of children. I could not wait to be a mom. I totally understand Hannah's heartbreak. Every month that I was not pregnant after I was married, I cried. I cried for the loss.  I cried out of self-pity. I wanted a child so badly.   Three years of tears and trying and heartbreak, I was given Taylor. God blessed me with this one amazing child. Hannah sat through ceremonies where she had to watch every other woman give thanks for their children, and she was barren.  She turned to the only person who could help.  She turned to God. God answered her prayer.  He's amazing like that.

Hannah didn't pray the watered down prayers that we often do though.  She prayed a passionate prayer. This was her heart's desire. She prayed prostrate - face down.  She prayed in her heart.  No words were said; only her lips moved.  She wasn't just saying some rhyming phrase she learned as a child.  She was begging her Heavenly Father for a child. I've heard some strong prayers in my lifetime. My dad prays and you know when you hear it, it is a reverent prayer.  My dad is a reverent man.  I have been deeply moved witnessing little children at Backyard Bible Club all pray out loud together (like Wesleyans) and know they are talking to their friend. The prayer of another that I was most moved by though was a prayer that mirrored Hannah's prayer. Preacher Ray ( a former preacher at RCBC) prayed one night at the altar in a service where you could feel God's presence.  I don't know what he was praying about, but he was heartbroken without a doubt.  He prayed and prayed and then, laid his face on the ground with his arms outstretched and continued to pray and cry.  When he finally stood, I had no doubt that he had spoken with God. It was a powerful site.  I want to be that prayer warrior. We should all pray those types of passionate prayers for the lost, the homeless, for this world we live in.

Hannah prayed with great humility.  She didn't walk in and demand things of God. She said she was His handmaiden.  A handmaiden is the equivalent of a female slave.  She didn't say I am a really good woman, so please give me this child.  She asks humbly for a child and says she will give the child back to God. She wasn't making a foxhole deal with God.  She wasn't saying if you do this, then I'll do that - only to totally forget the promise as soon as she conceived.  Too often today, people try to bargain with the Lord. We make deals.  If you will heal me, I'll start coming to church.  If you will allow me to get this job, I'll start tithing. If you will fix my marriage, I'll become a better person. He doesn't need whatever you could offer.  He is the Great I AM.  Come to Him as His humble servant.  To do otherwise is disrespectful.

I've came to the Lord a few times heartbroken and begged Him to fix the situations. I did not do it at the altar.  I have sobbed in my bed begging Him to fix my marriage. I have sank to the floor in the shower begging Him to help me through a painful situation involving Taylor when he was younger. I begged Him with all I had to not take Taylor when the doctor said he may have Leukemia even if all I could get out was the word Please. I prayed fiercely when Taylor said he wanted to enlist. God answered in each of those cases.  The answer was NO in a few.  He gave me strength through each situation though.  I did not demand His help.  I begged Him.  Come to God humbly.

Hannah kept praying until she had been heard.  She prayed through. This is an old expression that you don't hear much anymore.  Today, we pray at the altar until the music hits the second or third verse and then, we get up because everyone wants to go home.  Think about that.  We go to the altar to speak to our Lord and Savior and then, we cut it short because other people might want to go home and watch television. If you are heartbroken, pray until God answers you.  Remember that the answer may be no. You aren't praying until He says yes.  You are praying in great humility, with great passion until He answers. Prayer is not supposed to be a postcard. Wish You were here. Prayer is a conversation. It's a chatty letter where you take the time to communicate with the most important person in your life. Take the time to pray.

God gave Hannah a child. She named him Samuel which means "Because I have asked him of the Lord".  She gave praise to God for the blessing.  We need to be continually praising God for His blessings on us. God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.

God Talks. Do You Listen?

I love gospel music.  I'm not a big fan of Christian rock or rap or the new types of Christian music that are reaching wide audiences.  I understand their mission to reach various audiences with The Word, but I want sweeter notes than that for my own pesonal listening. I want songs that will play in my head over and over throughout the week. Luckily, I have had that recently.  That's What a Savior Does... from our upcoming Easter Contata and You are the potter, I am the clay from today's services have been on repeat since I heard them.  I love the music of the songs, but more than that, I love the message of the songs. I believe that God speaks to us in a number of ways daily.  Music is one of the prettiest ways He carries on a conversation with us.

People do not want to believe that God speaks to us anymore, that is just something that you read about in the Bible. I serve a living God, however.  I have a relationship with my savior.  He is my Heavenly Father.  He talks to me. What does he say?  Well, that depends...

I want you to think about your best friend, your mom, or your boss. With all your heart, you want to visit Paris. You go to these three people, and say I would really love to go to Paris during the spring.  It's supposed to be absolutely beautiful; it's the city of lights.  It's the city of romance. I want to go and walk through the streets feeling the wonder of it all.  Your best friend who has known you forever looks at you, smiles, and asks "can you afford to go?".  You go look over your financials and realize that yes, if you scrape and don't pay a few bills, you can go.  You run back to your friend, and inform her you can. If you use all your savings and get behind on your bills, what happens if your car breaks down or you get sick? That is definitely not going to happen, you assure her.  Then, you notice that your car has a rattle and your throat hurts a little. You realize that maybe you should save for the trip without putting everything else in your life at risk.  Did your best friend talk to you?  Yes.  God will have this same conversation with you if you talk to him like the friend He is.

Okay... mom or dad's turn. Go to your parents and tell them that you want to go to Paris.  They explain like your best friend that you can't really afford to go right now, but if you save you can go later... maybe when you can walk through the streets of Paris with a husband. (They're parents.. they can't help this..).  You, however, want to go right now so you ask them to pay for you to go, to let you use their frequent flyer points, to make it possible for you to win a free trip, to make it happen for you to go even though you cannot afford it. They tell you NO. Did they answer your question? Yes. God always answers prayers; sometimes the answer happens to be no.

Your boss?  You go to your boss and tell him that you have always wanted to go to Paris.  Maybe, he sees this as a great opportunity and explains that he can use you there for this huge project the company is working on. Maybe, he says, I need you here to finish the work we are doing and you cannot go to Paris right now. Either way, your boss spoke to you. God is our ultimate boss. We serve Him.

Sometimes the dialogue with God is straight forward and simple as if you were speaking to your friend, you parent, or your boss.  Other times, it is a feeling that washes over you when you hear a song, see a painting, or read an article. God is talking. Listen.

I had a friend this week pray about whether or not she should attend a conference.  She had been given free tickets, but just felt ill at ease about going.  She prayed about it, felt she had received her answer, but still struggled.  The tickets were free afterall.  Another friend told her to cast out a fleece, to ask for a sign.  She felt odd about that.  Weren't signs more of Old Testament thing?  She asked though.  If she was not to go, please let her see a blue bird.  If she was to go, please send her a red bird. There were no birds around her house, but when she started inside, two blue birds flew by.  She laughed.. Okay, what if that was just a coincidence???  So, she prayed again... Ummm... Lord, if that was a sign, please send me another blue bird...  She opened her eyes and there came another blue bird. She spent the time with her family instead of attending the conference. God answers us when we ask in a variety of ways.

Listen...